The Tall Girl

2007-12-13T03:06:00.000-05:00

What a Year

Since I've last posted:

- Graduation
- Thesis completed
- Research Project expanded
- Presented at two conferences (and got accepted for a 3rd!)
- Had an awesome week of vacation in Portugal
- Handled one side research project poorly, felt bad, then felt less bad when the person I was working for unhinged and went nutso on me
- Had the great opportunity to be a training facilitator for my favorite crisis intervention org
- Also worked on aforementioned org's fundraiser event again this year - turned out even better than last year!
- Celebrated 5 years with the Tall Guy - for the first time ever didn't cancel dinner to finish up papers or study for final exams
- 16 PhD applications in the works (7 down, 6 for Dec 15th, 3 more for Jan 1st)

There has been little sleep and even less fun. Have read few books and seen fewer movies.
Cannot wait for the New Year and a clean slate, at which time we will begin apartment hunting.

Happy Holidays!

2007-04-29T02:12:00.000-04:00

Nice day

Someone told me they thought I was 23 today. Not a random stranger, someone who sees me pretty frequently and knows a little about me.

I know I'm firmly over 25 because of how happy this simple statement made me.

2007-04-24T10:20:00.001-04:00

New Book!

One of my favorite blogs is www.feministing.com and
now one of it's editor's has a new book out. The media
is starting to check her out:

http://alternet.org/story/50843/

I'll write about the book in a few weeks after I've
had a chance to read it. I typically enjoy Jessica's
writing and perspective, so am looking forward to it!

2007-04-21T14:35:00.000-04:00

Happy Spring!

I'm officially out of hibernation. The news this week was a mixed bag - the good was really good and the bad really bad. I'll stick with the good for today:

- One of my favorite people pulled off a fantastic intercontinental surprise proposal to his girlfriend. Complete with ring custom-made by the bride-to-be's sister. (M - you rock!!)

- I got passed over as replacement for the senior partner's assistant. This may not seem like a good thing, but actually think I would quit if I was picked. I'm quite satisfied with my current job and will be happy to hang around (as planned) for another year.

- Other friends got home with their 5 1/2 week early baby girl and all are doing well. Exhausted, but very well.

- Got the letter saying I'm free to graduate - just have 2 things to finish off. Yay!

- Received a totally unexpected merit scholarship check. I had received one a few years ago and thought that would be it, so was very pleasantly surprised to get this bigger check in the mail today. This officially lowers my remaining credit debt down to about $2,500. This may not seem like a big deal, but my debt peaked around $23,000 a few years ago. This feels awesome!
Public service announcement: Don't use credit cards. They are evil!!

So I'm cranking out a draft of ye olde thesis this weekend and trying to write up something funny but not cloying to put in my graduation invitations. ("Pigs are flying...." "Nostradamus couldn't have predicted this..." "You can uncross your fingers now...") We also figured out that it's the 25th anniversary of my first and only graduation: nursery school.

I'm feeling optimistic about the coming year and hopeful about my PhD apps. I can't emphasize how happy I am that I switched advisors and lab groups. I love my group, love my advisor, and have been given a lot of encouragement by all of them. I hope I've been able to give some of that back.

I haven't been posting as much because they added a lot of internet controls and monitoring at work. I'll try and figure out the way to post via email because there are often things I want to post about during the day.

Heading out to enjoy this Spring Saturday!

2007-03-04T19:17:00.000-05:00

My grandmother passed away.

Last Monday of a sudden heart attack. She was not in pain, was not alone, and was gone in an instant. It's hard to say how I'm feeling about it. On the one hand, my grandmother - the pushy, sharp witted, sharp tongued matriarch - was lost when she experienced severe hemorrhaging in her brain almost 6 years ago. She was transformed and became more loving, affectionate, and gracious, despite massive memory loss (her condition was akin to Alzheimer's in many ways). I've missed the powerhouse for years and now her sweeter, gentler self.

The whole family gathered. I hate how my family doesn't know how to experience and share grief. We all avoid eye contact and turn to wipe away tears out of sight.

I'm grateful there were babies. Three little ones to turn to when it got too hard. Bright spots to focus on.

I am grateful to my cousins for singing her favorite song - I know it killed them to do it and I will be forever thankful for their gift.

My grandmother was not what one would call a good singer. She sang anyway, often and with great fervor. When something reminded her of a hymn, she would belt it out, regardless of where she was. If there is anything I learned from her, it's that - sing anyway and do it with joy.

Our family concludes many occasions and all funerals with a special hymn. It's a common one at CRC churches and one I've sung countless times. I can close my eyes and recall sitting between my grandparents at church when I was younger, my grandmother's too-high soprano and my grandfather's beautiful, soulful bass distinctive in the surge of voices. The chorus is sung in two parts - almost call and response. The sopranos sing a line, then the basses answer, then the sopranos, then the basses, etc. The harmony hits you like a wave.

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

At the funeral, my grandmother's call was missing.
And my grandfather's broken heart wasn't able to respond.

2007-02-25T19:44:00.000-05:00

One foot in front of the other

It's been a weird few weeks. I've been setting aside huge amounts of time for school work and just not getting shit done. For a variety of reasons I won't go into - some of it's the usual procrastination, some of it's new and kind of scary and causing all kinds of self-doubt.

Two of my new favorite things are not new, only new to me. KCRW radio - LOVE IT. Have been streaming Morning Eclectic and Nocturna daily. A-track and some others are pretty good too, though I haven't checked everything on the station out yet - gotta save something for days to come.

Slashfood is my new favorite blog. Food glorious food.

Tall Guy has been reading this book www.mindlesseating.org - suddenly our portions are reduced and there are chopped veggie snacks ready in the fridge. No complaints from me.

Plowing along on the research project and thesis. Am working on another poster submission. Finally learned enough SPSS to get through an initial analysis (anovas and manovas). Things are challenging, but good.

Watching the second snow of the season fall under the streetlight...

2007-02-01T01:17:00.000-05:00

First time is the charm?

I just made my FIRST submission for a poster presentation at a conference.
Things I've learned:

1) Of course there will be a server issue for 4 hours and I won't receive valuable feedback via email and I will not know about said server and will stay at the computer for FOUR HOURS hitting refresh every 2.3 minutes.

2) I absolutely have to buy that F'ing SP$$ statistics software to avoid the completely horrific feeling of not knowing what I'm writing about. Seriously - it's beyond frustrating in a zone of incapacity I haven't experienced in a very long time.

3) I also need to catalogue my lit review articles better. And I need to start summarizing more of them - flipping through 700 pages of poorly marked copies is an efficient procrastination technique, though not a favored one of mine.

4) Going to bed at 2 am two nights in a row is not as cool as it used to be when I was 13.

5) Vegan chicken salad is mighty tasty. You get all the spicy mayo tastiness without the dried up old crusty chicken factor. Hail the almighty soy product! Just add crackers.

6) I need an actual office area and desk. I've been sitting wrapped up in blankets with a heating pad to stay warm and limber. Damn gorgeous yet drafty windows.

Time for sleep. Sweet, blessed sleep.

2007-01-15T13:52:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year!

So much to write about and too little time. The quick rundown:

~ Research project - going great. The first round of data collection was a kamikaze mission - we had 10 days to finalize the questionnaire, get space, and sign up participants. It was a success, only had one major glitch, and we collected over 100 questionnaires! This may not seem like a lot to more experienced folk, but this is a huge accomplishment for me. It also means we done good and the next round of collection this semester is good to go. At the moment, we're developing 3 new pieces to add based on feedback we received from the participants. I also created the database (a first for me) and am trying to keep things organized and moving this spring.

~ Thesis - it's crunch time. Home today to do some work on it, but life as usual interrupts. Need to have a loose outline this week so I can submit for a poster or paper presentation deadline Jan 31st. I want my outline done by Feb 1 and a draft done by March 1. No messing around - I must graduate in May.

~ The job - My dept. was moved to another floor. The workspace is actually really, really nice. Will be quiet, plus I get my own area with a window (!). The window faces north and there is a slice of Times Sq. visible. Who knows how this exposure to daylight will affect my mood - I may become exceedingly perky - watch out! The day to day effects of the move remain to be seen - I'm farther away from my boss (rather than just outside his office), plus I'll have to use the elevator multiple times a day to run mail and such back and forth. No one in the group is complaining about the workspace - we're just concerned about being totally cut off from the rest of the office - out of sight, out of mind. We'll see what happens...

~ The holidays - were great. Lots of food and family. We ran around NJ and went upstate for the weekend. Also finally watched "Walk the Line" and the Kill Bill movies - loved them all. I gave Tall Guy a 3 hour brunch yacht cruise around Manhattan for xmas. We went on New Year's Day, otherwise known as the foggiest day in history. Had a blast regardless and got some great spooky, foggy NYC pics. My favorite is the Statue of Liberty looming menacingly in the gloom.

~ Life is good. I'm glad to have the past year behind me and looking forward to making some changes this year. Tall Guy and I are working on our homelife, mainly dedicating time to each other and being home. We're trying to create spaces where we can both work on our respective writing, clean out old junk in anticipation of whatever comes next (we may have to move this Fall - we're in a sublet), and just generally sharing our space better.

~ New Year's Resolutions (in no particular order):
1 - Graduate
2 - Throw big graduation party and take big post-grad trip
3 - Go to gym twice a week (so cliche, but so necessary)
4 - Eat salad every day (I aim for lunch and dinner, so at least hit one)
5 - Focus on myself (This may seem selfish, but it's necessary and anyone whose spent any time with my strung out, ever-distracted self knows it)
6 - Stay home more (no more weekends running all over the place)
7 - No new obligations (school and home are enough for this year)
8 - Call people and keep in touch better (I have a cordless phone and need to actually use it)
9 - Listen more
10- Cook more (thereby reducing the number of nacho dinners to once a month instead of once a week)

More to come...

2006-12-04T01:45:00.000-05:00

Satisfied (and Exhausted)

The SAVI event was a success! I'll know the final tally later this week, but I believe we had approx. 150 guests and raised our goal of $10,000!!! The food was great, the wine and beer flowing, and DMC and Chuck D are two of the nicest guys around. Big thanks to Brooklyn Brewery for donating to countless charity events. I also scored a silent auction item from Dasi Jewelry - the lemon drop earrings. So pretty.

The party ran late - until after 11:30 - and everyone was having so much fun we didn't notice how late it had gotten. My guest bartenders Brown Girl and Sassy Lawyer were fantastic! Tall Guy was amazing, doing everything from hitting a dozen delis between our apartment and Mt. Sinai looking for ice, to running up 8 floors to find a microwave in the seriously creepy hematology dept in order to warm up some food (Says he of waiting for the microwave: "That was the longest 8 minutes of my life"). My mom also volunteered her services and racked up over $600 in raffle ticket sales. Don't let her seemingly meek exterior fool you - she's a shark!

There isn' t much else going on at the moment. I've been utterly consumed with this fundraiser business. It was a wonderful experience and I learned a lot. The committee has already been approached to do it again next year. I think if we were to do it again it would be a lot easier - a lot of the stress and glitches came from being rookie event planners. We would do many things a lot differently (and much further in advance!) next time. I really did enjoy meeting and working with my fellow committee members - though I think we're all a little stunned we pulled it off!

I did get some fantastic news last week. My research project has been approved!! I'm frantically revising the measures and hoping to collect data (grill subjects) starting on Thursday. We have until the 15th to collect, so there is a lot to do!

It is Tall Guy's and my 4th anniversary this week. Four glorious years of witty banter and mutual nearsightedness. He has some sort of night out planned for Friday and has been giving me infuriating clues like "The walls inside are white" and "You haven't been there before" or "You know Restaurant X? We're not going there". These clues are offered with glee and I love being teased with surprises. I do know it involves food (duh) and I get to eat at 5:30 (yay).

It's 2:20 am. It's been a surreal few days and the next few days will be challenging in a totally different way. Life at the moment is good, interesting and moving fast.

But not fast enough - is it Friday yet??

2006-11-15T10:22:00.000-05:00

Does anyone else think this looks like Putin is picking up Bush for a date?

I LOVE these t-shirts. Those of you on my xmas shopping list may end up with one. "I run like a girl... try to catch up" hee hee hee

And to add a little gravitas, I think this is one of the more thoughtful pieces I've seen on gay marriage in awhile. Personally, I would just like to hurry up and legalize it, but thinking about the institution of marriage and how it relates to community and social fabric is interesting. I find her ideas on the power dynamic involved thought provoking (in a good way).

Speaking of which, this kind of came out of left field. South Africa is the last place, second to Utah, that I would have expected a gay marriage law to come from.

I'm having too much fun with this today. (takes a second to load)

2006-11-14T10:00:00.000-05:00

Bits and pieces

I have to admit, I'm still in a bit of a daze after the past week - the big Democratic wins, Rumsfeld's resignation, Britney dumped K-Fed, Rutgers is in the top 10... WTF? I came of age in the era of Clinton, and the falling of the Berlin Wall, and the end of Apartheid. I realized I've been kind of covering my eyes for the past 10 years or so, not believing the direction the world had taken. I realize I'm being totally idealistic about it all, but I don't care. I'm over the moon that a woman is Speaker of the House and that my choices for President in 2008 could easily include Hilary AND Barack Obama. All is not right in the world, but things feel better this week - as if it's suddenly OK to open my eyes and feel hopeful and optimistic again.

Came across this via Feministing - I'm still agog that she got to hang out with Cecile AND Gloria. Wildly jealous.

Some favorites from NPR this week:

Radio Lab - Morality - if you have the time, this was a great listen - one of the ones so good you park your car and sit in the parking lot in order to hear the end of the show.

Daddy sends in reinforcements - I laughed out loud at the opening

Christopher Guest's new movie - the inner workings of the movie biz

Sci Fi I may be tempted to read

2006-11-11T15:13:00.000-05:00

Comme Ci Comme Ca

The past month has been busy - full bore, non-stop busy. Lots bumping around in my head, as usual, but it's shifted from the future "what if" PhD, life in general cycle to more pressing, immediate concerns.

We have some grandparent-end-of-life stuff happening. Tall Guy's grandpa passed away a week ago. He was in his second bout of throat cancer, on top of a medley of other health problems. Through it all, his mind remained sharp and we were in the habit of seeing him every 3 weeks or so. He was placed in a hospice several weeks ago and all the medications he was on messed with his memory and clarity. That was really difficult, probably more so than seeing him in pain. TG is OK - sad, but also relieved. His grandfather did not want a service, so we joined TG's aunt and her family at the graveside for a brief interment. Papa T was a Navyman in WWII and was interred next to his wife in the VA cemetery. The Navy provided a bugler to play taps and we said good bye in the rain.

On a similar note, my grandmother landed in the hospital with another infection. Consider this your public service announcement for the day - elderly folks are very susceptible to UTIs and any sort of UTI can mess with brain chemistry. In those like my Gma, who already have brain damage and dementia, the symptoms manifest not in urinary pain, but in increased dementia symptoms. She's back home and will most likely be on a series of antibiotics for the rest of her life.

It's been interesting to see how the grandparents have changed as they've aged, particularly in regard to attitudes and life satisfaction. It really pushes you to think about your own life and choices and to imagine how you will feel in the later years looking back. It's also been enlightening to see how the grandparents' relationships with their adult children have morphed over the years, as well as differences in how they treat their kids.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The research project is going really well. I have a few solid assistants (so bizarre to have assistants) and am really impressed with two in particular. This week were finishing up developing our measures. We're trying to capture the context of dating violence. Most existing measures focus on the "acts" rather than the motivations and feelings before, during and after a violent incident. We're not reinventing the wheel, but are hoping to come up with something a little more indepth than what's already out there.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The SAVI fundraiser planning is going well. Donations are rolling in (sailing lessons! salon gift certificates! dance lessons! gilded mirrors! jewelry!) so our focus has shifted to publicizing the event and selling tickets. We're aiming for 200 guests - tell your friends! Hurry up and buy tickets!

2006-11-06T22:49:00.000-05:00

Why I haven't written in weeks...

Come! Join us!

Volunteers of the Mount Sinai Sexual Assault and Violence Intervention Program (SAVI) invite you to our first dinner and auction event to benefit SAVI:

Hope and Inspiration

Saturday, December 2nd, 2006 at 7:00 pm

At Mt. Sinai – Icahn Medical Institute

1425 Madison Avenue at E. 98th St.

Featured guests include:

Darryl DMC McDaniels and Chuck D, Hip-Hop Legends

Ed Kranepool, Member of the NY Mets Hall of Fame

Please join us for a delicious dinner and drinks as well as an auction and raffle of fabulous items including sports memorabilia, art, clothing, spa passes, show tickets, and restaurant gift certificates. A great opportunity to do some holiday shopping!

For more information and to order tickets, please call 212-875-SAVI or www.savinyc.org.

The mission of SAVI is to provide free and confidential counseling, advocacy, support and referral services to past and present survivors of rape, sexual assault, incest, and domestic violence, and to their families and friends. SAVI is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization that is supported by donations and volunteers. SAVI has helped hundreds of women, men and children in Manhattan and Queens throughout its 22 year history. If you or someone you know would like to know about SAVI, please see SAVI's website.

2006-10-18T13:33:00.000-04:00

Humdrum

This is one of my favorite times of year, particularly foodwise.
Apples!
Pumpkins!
Roasted Veggies!

Tying up loose ends this week. The car is yet to be repaired. The IRB app will be submitted tomorrow. My first meeting with my group of research assistants is Monday (eek). Lots to think about and do.

Somebody go apple picking and have some cider for me.

2006-10-06T18:41:00.000-04:00

Deadlines, what deadlines?

Been in my own little world. Took a few weeks off to cool off the brain and figure out some other areas of life. Put school on the back burner and focused on the home life for a bit, which was prudent and necessary and absolutely worth it given the much improved state of things.

Now it's time for full on panic as I realize just how much I dropped the ball on my prep for the research project. The IRB application is due next week - I'm supposed to get this in for October, so I can get me some subjects in Nov. Scrambling badly and the Prof knows it. Not good. Can she pull of another 11th hour victory, you ask? Probably yes. Will she learn her lesson this time? Probably not.

In other news, Tall Guy's one man show went fantastically well. I really hope he does it again! The moms were in attendance, as were his co-workers and some friends. He received rave reviews all around. Other happy news: my extended family is celebrating a new baby boy, a friend is due next week, and another friend is surprisingly pregnant. Everything's coming up babies. I suppose this is how the next 10 years will be? Kids and weddings popping up all over the place?

The cats have avoided any further peril for a good week now and our bank account sighs in relief. Now that we're recovering from the financial blow of kitty medical bill hell, I suppose the universe thought it was time to suck money from us in other creative ways. This is, of course, punishment for our spend-happy decision to go away for a long weekend, money gods be damned! We planned an idyllic little jaunt upstate, with a stop at the Culinary Institute for lunch and baked items, then a quiet weekend holed up in a beautiful cabin complete with satellite cable. We load up our bags and head out to the car...

I admit, I winced and almost started crying. Oh, the carnage! Mothers were shielding their children's eyes as they hurried past. The speculation is that another SUV swooped in and clipped us some time Friday evening. What is not evident from this view is how the headlights are dangling by their wires and how the front corner is smushed in. The good news: No damage to the engine or expensive new tires - phew. There is an auto parts store on our block, which means there are a minimum of 11 freelance mechanics hanging out on any given Saturday. One of the regulars came to our rescue and fastened everything back together well enough to get us on the road. This was accomplished primarily with plastic cable ties from Tall Guy's monstrous bucket.

(Kudos to Tall Guy for not commenting, "See, I DO need everything in my office just in case there is an emergency and we NEED 2,000 plastic cable ties.")

We made it to the heavenly cabin - complete with hammock and babbling stream - and the weekend served is restorative purposes. I heartily recommend The Bear Cafe and Little Bear in Woodstock, NY for good food in a great setting. I savored a delectible roast pork loin studded with cracked pepper and caraway seeds served on a rhubarb coulis with a side of roasted brussel sprouts and chestnuts. Sweet Sue's in Phoenicia was good for breakfast and lunch, but go early to avoid the line. I do not suggest the blueberry pancakes - too much berry and too little pancake - they were actually better the next day - kind of muffiny. Everything was delish.

On Monday we said farewell to Suzi, Josh and Maddie. They are moving West to bigger and better things. Which calls to mind Oregon Trail (minus the dysentery and Indian raids, of course), which cracks me up to picture them in a covered wagon cruising past Graceland, Chicago and the Corn Palace.

Some things to scream about inside your pretty heads...

Sin Tetas - If only my gangster boyfriend had gotten me a boob job when I was 15, I wouldn't need a degree!

Moms officially paid less in UK - did I take a wrong turn and miss civilization somewhere back there?

And a little balm after all that chafing...

The student loans were definitely worth it

Embrace your freshman 15 - Seize the Weight from the NY Times

2006-09-16T22:38:00.000-04:00

Back in action

GRE - check
Got it done. Did well, not great, but well. Will ask those in the know whether I will need to retake next year - it's likely. And that's OK.

Not much else is going on, and that's also OK. Well, maybe lots is going on, I'm just not thinking about it tonight. Tonight I'm call for SAVI - I'm a volunteer emergency room advocate. I'm basically sitting on the couch watching bad tv, eating junk food, and hoping the phone doesn't ring. If you're in NYC and interested for volunteering to aid survivors of sexual assault and intimate partner violence, SAVI is gearing up their fall training. Check it out. If you don't feel like schlepping uptown, check out this site for other programs in the 5 boroughs.

In other news, Tall Guy's fabulous one man show is Tuesday Sept. 26th. If you're in town and interested in a fine performance relating quantum physics to love, life and elephants, email me for details. Tix only $5!

Am quite excited - we've booked a little weekend getaway in the Hudson Valley. Anyone want to cat sit? Any recommendations for restaurants in the Woodstock area?

I've spent some time tonight tooling around Life Hacker. As usual found some nifty thingys.
A resource for what to make for dinner when all you've got is random ingredients.

Build yourself a better grocery list.

I heart vinegar. So many wonderful uses.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paying respects to Ann Richards, former governor of Texas - she will be sorely missed. If I grow up to become half as hard working, intelligent, saucy, witty, and charming as she was, I'll be thrilled. Check out this great eulogy for her. And if you need a little dose of hope in the midst the political abyss, read or listen to her speech at the 1988 Democratic Convention. Makes me teary every time.

PS: Her daughter Cecile is head of Planned Parenthood. The legacy lives on...

2006-09-11T11:48:00.000-04:00

Choose

If you had to give up either cake or pie, which would you choose to keep? (As in, you can only choose one and you'll never have the other ever again...)

~ and ~

If you had to give up bananas or peanut butter, which would you choose to keep?

I'd choose pie over cake in a heartbeat, but the bananas versus peanut butter choice is tough for me - I start going into practicial considerations like nutritional content and shelf life and still can't decide...

*thanks to Chica for this one*

2006-09-10T23:00:00.000-04:00

Frantic

My vocabulary sucks. No really, it does. I've been focusing on studying the math for the GRE partially to avoid my lackluster vocabulariness. It's painfully apparent that while my spelling is great, I don't actually know what the words mean. Examples: perspicacity, plebiscite, splenetic, and apotheosis. Flashcards will be stapled to my hands for the remainder of the week. In good news, my math scores have gone up. I really need to hit the circles chapter though, and maybe that formula for slopes (it has a -1 in it right?), and I should be OK. Repeat practice testing is also helping me make better guesses. Yeehaw.

I hid up at my mom's in the woods this weekend. Me, the dog and the cat. I attempted to take Monday off, but alas was not successful. More frantic studying to occur throughout the week.

During my absence, Tall Guy emailed me this photo, which will promptly be printed, framed and displayed prominently.

If you're into taking pictures of cats, it's helpful to have monochromatic ones.

2006-09-04T17:29:00.000-04:00

'Bout time to add a photo....

The Tall Girl is taller than the GWB!

2006-09-04T00:57:00.000-04:00

Laborious

Happy Labor Day! After the past week of rain, rain and rain, today was glorious. Or at least it looked that way from my window. I'm grounded this weekend - in full on GRE studying mode and getting ready for a status meeting with the thesis prof this week. I ended up pushing my desk over in front of a window to enjoy some of the sunshine. Tomorrow I will get out with Tall Guy for an "us" day - most likely a leisurely walk with food at the beginning and the end. Speaking of Tall Guy and food, he made a delish dinner tonight - big fat steak, rubbed with Rudy's special rub, and topped with orange bell pepper, apples and onions. A little sweet with a warm spice to it - Yum!

Went to see Suzi the other day - they are in full on packing mode. Miss Maddie is more adorable by the day - good natured and giggly and full of toddlerness. I love this age - every thought is written expressly across her face, every impulse gratified. Such fun. (Maybe not so much fun for mom and dad when she's running into the street...)

I feel like my entire life for the last few weeks has solely involved research lab and Moose's urinary health. Both are seemingly resolved, so it's time to move on to happier things.

I love Fall - not quite as much as Spring, but it's a close second, if only because I think the food in the Fall is better. Who doesn't like apples and pumpkin and roasted autumn veggies? Turkey is eh, but anything roasted with caramelized turnips, parsnips, carrots, celeriac, onions and potatoes is divine to the eyes, nose and palate.

I'm pretty excited about this Fall. I just started my statistics class and feel like I really lucked out - the professor is knowledgeable AND hilarious - a definite anomaly. This may well be my last class ever - there is a possibility I could use my independent study with the thesis prof. as a substitute for the advance research design class I have yet to take. In that case, I would only be working on my thesis in the spring, and maybe taking an elective if something interests me. Definitely done in May!!!

I'm knee deep in thesis lit review - several dozen articles relating to jealousy and intimate partner violence. My head was swimming after a day of articles, but I babbled about it to Tall Guy for awhile and, as often happens, the babbling out loud helped me realize I know what I'm talking about and what area I'm supposed to be focusing on. (Though I'm not sure he has any idea WTF I'm talking about...babble is neither clear nor organized.) By Wed. I intend to have 3 potential research designs and a model of how I conceptualize jealousy.

Back to work...should be a quiet week at the office, so I'll hopefully I'll be able to post about something other than school or the cats - even if I have to make something up...

2006-08-28T12:16:00.000-04:00

Funnies

This has been cracking me up for a full week…

Moo

Craziness

Issues

Plan B - at long last

Both viewpoints are annoying

Fatherless sons turn out OK – I’ll be watching to see what research comes of this.

2006-08-28T11:39:00.000-04:00

Happy Rainy, Dark, Chilly Last Monday of Summer

I left research lab. The official reason is the immediate need to spend my time studying for the GRE in Sept. Additionally, I need time to write, submit poster presentations and do my own thesis project. Will take stock in early October and make sure I'm doing all of the above. My departure went shockingly well - waiting to see if there is future fall out.

Moose is improving. He's eating, sleeping, and being a little cranky. He's also leaking a little here and there, so we follow him around like he's a toddler in toilet training - treats and praise for using the litter box and paper towels and disinfectant to clean up his little accidents. Please, please, please let this be part of recovery and not a sign of permanent damage... He is definitely feeling better - we opted to put him in the bathroom overnight with his cone collar on so he'd stop messing with his nethers. He showed his gratitude by ramming into the bathroom door at 4:30 am. Aw, that's our Moose! He's going to be a linebacker when he grows up!

I ended up under an awning dodging some rain last week with some tourists who had very strong ideas about what should be done to rebuild WTC. Let me make this painfully clear to anyone who was not in the city that day: Keep your self-congratulatory, fix-it opinions to yourself. That goes double if you haven't set foot in this city in 15 years. Also, if you live in Syracuse and come down once a year for dinner and a show, you are not a qualified expert on the city and I probably should not have bothered to correct you on your misdirections for Central Park. Yes, it's actually east - just keep walking down 53rd St and you'll get there...

For those of you in the city - if you happen to be in midtown during a downpour, do not, I repeat DO NOT stop under an awning anywhere near David Letterman's studio lest your sensibilties be accosted by such aggravating dribble. It was probably the first time I have ever wished I had an iPod.

2006-08-18T23:13:00.000-04:00

A few more bits about my recent trip to Houston and NOLA.

Houston was good - really good. My first time back in 15 years, and my fifth visit ever to see my dad. We've struck a bit of an equilibrium - they don't pretend to be parents, don't pry, don't give me constructive criticism or advice, and we all get along. (Of course, the last time they tried to advise me on anything was when I was 16 and they told me they didn't think I should skip 12th grade to go to college early - I would miss out on the prom. I basically laughed at them and told them they didn't know me at all and had no right to suggest anything.)

My step-mother deserves all the credit for my having any contact with my dad - she's kept up the birthday cards and Christmas calls over the years, laying the groundwork for future, indepth contact. At this point, we get to know each other a little better every year - they're generally good people and the way I feel about them is akin to how you feel about an aunt and uncle you see every few years - there is fondness and an overall sense of family, but you're utterly unfamiliar with each other's daily lives, values and customs. I'm completely OK with this level of relationship and feel no need to press for more.

I also got to see the nephews - a 3 year old and a 6 week old. Very fun indeed.

APA

On to a little bit about the APA convention. I apparently was the only student in attendance from my college. As such, I made a point of glomming onto some folks from NYU, with whom I hung out all weekend and compared convention notes with. Over the course of four days I attended the following talks:

- Aaron Beck & Judith Beck - New developments in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. (In a later session, Aaron Beck was joined by Albert Bandura - I will never forgive myself for opting to have a leisurely breakfast and skipping that talk.)

I also missed Phillip Zimbardo and a talk about prisons and Abu Ghraib.

- Biology behind sexual orientation (Yup, it's genetic, nope there is no "gay gene")

- Dissemination, Replication, Adoption, and Implementation Issues in Dating Violence Prevention Programs

- Gender and Immigration--- Stories of Trauma, Resilience, and Hope

- Sibling Effects Across the Life Span (Onlies like myself are not more F'd up - phew)

- Violence in the Home---Integrating Approaches on Prevention and Intervention

I learned a little more about a variety of the divisions and may be interested in joining Div. 35 Psychology of Women and Div. 27 Society for Community Research and Action

Liquids Ban

I flew on the first morning of the liquids ban and was the poster child for what not to do. When I arrived home to LaGuardia, I wish I had had my camera handy. As the luggage came out on the conveyor belt, there would be one suitcase then a little bottle of lotion, then a bag, then a little tube of hair gel, then a bag, and a tube of toothpaste. Just struck me as very funny - what if you could check just a tube of toothpaste?

2006-08-18T22:16:00.000-04:00

I had a great trip to New Orleans. Everything tourist-friendly downtown and in the French Quarter is up and running. Go and spend money!

Here's where I spent some of mine:

I stayed at one of the big box hotels - the Sheraton. Had an overall good experience. Clean, comfy beds, very helpful staff.

Red Fish Grill - So good I went twice. Ordered the hickory smoked red fish on a bed of crab and roasted potatoes, double chocolate bread pudding, gumbo and fish tacos. All absolutely delicious!

Brennan's - one of the old guard restaurants. I went for breakfast and succombed to one of the motto's on the menu: "A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine." I thoroughly enjoyed a baked apple with double cream, an omelette with andouille sausage and cheddar cheese and a mimosa.

K-Paul's - very good, but not as fantastic as I would have liked. I went with a group - the table had the gumbo, fried green tomatoes, a rabbit dish, a seafood dish, but by far the best was the duck and shrimp dish I ordered.

Over on N. Rampart next to the entrance to Louis Amstrong Park is Nawlins Flava Cafe - I can't find a website, but I definitely recommend it. It apparently used to be a coffee shop called Voodoo Brew. Now it has a handful of tables and nice variety of local fare - gumbo, jambalaya, fried okra and the like.

I made my second trip to Acme Oyster House - my friend thoroughly enjoyed the catfish, while I dug into a shrimp and oyster po'boy.

As always, I went to Cafe du Monde. In past trips, I've gone daily. I only went once this time and will explain why a little further down. The beignets with an iced coffee always hit the spot.

I latched onto a group of NYU students, one of whom found a gem of a lounge called Hookah Bar. It was a great spot - low key, but classy, with a great DJ, and, more importantly for a smoking bar, awesome air circulation. The crowd went from casual to a little more stylish as the evening wore on.

On another warm and sultry evening, we ended up at One Eyed Jack's, no live music that night, but a great jukebox and a spiffy booth (on the upper right).

I missed out on a favorite this trip. Mother's was closed on Sunday. I heard great things about Gumbo Shop and Johnny's Po-Boy and they have been added to the list for my next visit.

Two entertaining events occurred on Saturday. The first was the Red Dress Run sponsored by The Hash House Harriers, "The Drinking Club with the Running Problem". The second was "Dirty Linen Night", an event to bring people to the art galleries on Royal Street. The street was packed, all the galleries had their doors open and offered up wine and other tasty things. It was wonderful to be on a packed street in New Orleans, surrounded by artwork, happy people, and even some roller derby girls. Just how the city is supposed to be - outside, relaxed and a bit raucous.

Everyone has asked me what it's like - has it changed? Yes, absolutely it has. If you haven't been to NO before, you probably wouldn't notice the difference, namely the lack of people and noise. Before Katrina, you couldn't walk 5 feet without stumbling over street musicians - now the streets are empty. To me, this was particularly noticeable at Cafe du Monde, where 24 hours a day there used to be at least one group, if not more, jazz musicians playing. Now, there are none.

On Bourbon and Decatur Streets, it's eerily uncrowded. The bars are open, the doors open, and there are few customers. At the restaurants, there are no lines - you can get a table pretty much anywhere. At the Riverwalk Mall, several stores were closed on a Saturday afternoon. I know that August is a characteristically quiet, non-tourist month, but the city felt sadly empty to me. There are few visible signs in the Quarter and CBD of Katrina - much has been repainted and repaired. This beautiful, historic, deeply engaging city is alive, but a bit lonely.

I didn't venture outside of the CBD or French Quarter. Part of me was legitimately frightened of the stories of crime in many areas. Another part of me really didn't want to see the effects - much like I avoid WTC. I don't see how being a disaster tourist will allow me to bear witness on behalf of this wonderful city - I feel like there are better ways.

Go, visit, help them rebuild.

Plan your vacation or convention there.

Donate to Habitat for Humanity or another charity furthering the type of services you wish to support.

2006-08-18T21:54:00.000-04:00

Mending

His Mooseyness is recovering. (Warning: Too much information about the cat about to happen.) I took pics of him in his cone collar, but will spare him the embarrassment of posting them.

He was spotting urine as well as marking around the house since his triumphant return. I had a lovely chat with our favorite vet, who shared my concern about curbing this behavior and ensuring it doesn't become a habit. We followed all recommendations - added a litter box in the living room, added additional bowls of water, switched Moose entirely to wet food, etc. The one thing we couldn't do was stick to routine - the cats have been banned from the bedroom and I went on vacation last week. Poor Tall Guy was on 24 hour cat monitoring and clean up duty. And there was a lot of clean up.

About 2 weeks after the emergency room incident Moose was showing signs of a UTI (bloody urine, real agitation in the litter box, lots of licking down below). Back to the vet yesterday, another round of (stronger) antibiotics, an anti-spasmodic (to relieve urethral discomfort), a probiotic gel (which he's had before), and, ready for this? an anti-depressant. The anti-depressant is used as both an anti-anxiety med and to reduce inflammation. The result of this cocktail is a sluggish, drowsy kitty. Also, one of the side effects is constipation and "urinary retention" - um, isn't that what we're trying to avoid? I'm hoping most of the lethargy is due to the anti-spasmodic, which will be done on Sunday. If it's the anti-depressant, he's supposed to be on it for a month - it's supposed to help with the urinating around the house. I really hope it's not the a/d! Anyway, he's on Hill's c/d diet canned - I'm not happy about it - it's not so much the expense, but the amount of trash (1+ cans per day) and it's not always effective, plus it's been shown to lead to kidney disease after prolonged use because it's purpose is to increase acidity in urine. I'm going to start adding water to his canned food - he doesn't drink from the bowls and I'm convinced more water will do a world of good. Water really is the source of life, isn't it?

Squirrel is doing just fine. He's kind of weirded out by the recent events, and by the change in Moose's demeanor. But at least they're acting normal together again.

Hopefully this will be the last cat health update for a long time!

2006-08-04T15:55:00.000-04:00

Diagnosis: Fat

So we had an interesting evening last night. I arrived home after running some errands and began putting some things away in the bedroom. Moose was his usual clingy happy to see me self, until he laid down on the bedroom floor and starting crying. Looking up at me and crying, and not the usual "omigod I'm starving to death" whine. So I went to pet him and he started crying more. Given his prior urinary problems, we immediately recognized the possibility of kidney stones or some such thing. His breathing was rapid and abnormal, he wouldn't let us anywhere near his rear end. Poor Squirrel was beside himself - pacing and circling and confused.

We called the 24 hour vet and decided to bring Moose in. I'm really glad we did - his urinary track was totally blocked, he had fluid in his lungs (possibly caused by the anesthesia the Vet used) and they also found a heart defect. They "unblocked" him and he spent in the night in kitty ICU. We got home around 1:30. Tall Guy spoke to the Vet this morning - Moose is doing much better. They are no longer concerned about the urinary problem (was not stones), and instead are far more concerned with the heart issue. They are running an echocardiogram and will call us later.

The bottom line is that Moose is a fatty and it's not uncommon for a fat male cat to have urinary problems and/or heart problems. We've already been on top of the urinary problems - lots of fresh water, switched to wet food, etc. We will have to keep the litter box cleaner (every day instead of every other day), as the Vet's theory is Moose finds his box less than desirable and holds it in. (I think he's too lazy to leave the comfy couch.)

All of this is a huge expense - for once, we have the resources to pay for it, plus given Moose's young age, general good health, doting brother Squirrel, and overall lovemush demeanor, it makes sense to go ahead and get him whatever treatment he needs. Hopefully this will be a one time only event, and not become a chronic condition.

Poor Moosey- hopefully we'll bring him home on Saturday.

Moose is exhausted after working on his abs.

2006-07-31T10:45:00.000-04:00

Mid Summering

Holy hot as hell, Batman. Summer in the city = volunteering to work late in air conditioned offices, hanging out in movie theaters, ATMs or the refrigerator section at Fairway. I actually saw people wiping the sweat off their faces with AM New York newspapers this morning. By the way, the ink runs - use the white part.

This weekend we went up to see the family. It was my youngest cousin’s 14th birthday and my aunt hosted a cookout for the occasion. She put on quite the spread and I think everyone thoroughly enjoyed the day. (Thanks Aunt J!!)

Sunday we slept in at my mom’s. She had plans with a friend, so we were lazy and ate breakfast out on her porch, played with the dog and decided we wanted to patch up the screens on her porch for her. Neither Tall Guy nor I is a real team player, and certainly not on a household project such as this, so there was some audible bickering (sorry neighbors), but once we got started it went fine. Mom was pleased with the result. The dog, who had chewed the holes in the first place in order to stick her head out, was less pleased. The cat, who makes use of such holes to escape, will be downright depressed.

Our cats were starving and hot when we got home. They parked themselves belly up in front of the A/C as soon as it was turned on. Poor furballs - this is going to be a hot week for them.

A brief school update:
~ I just postponed the GRE. I was scheduled to take it at the end of August, but am behind on my prep, so I rescheduled for mid-September. That gives me four full weekends to prepare.

~ I am way behind on my thesis literature review – have only read 2 articles, have not summarized any of the ones I’ve already read, and haven’t obtained any new ones. So much for reading and summarizing 5 per week – at this rate I’m 20 articles behind. I’m hoping to make some serious progress on the reading while on the plane to/from New Orleans.

~ Research lab is ok. Our project is in the final stages of development – we’ve almost completed our curriculum (text book), final exam, and all the administrative screening forms we need. We’re picking out shirts for the boys, picking out supplemental textbooks, etc. The Prof has disappeared to CA again. The official story is elderly, ill parents – we think she’s shopping her resume around. The project I’m on is her baby – but the baby is a wee bit neglected if you ask me – we should be done by now, not waiting two weeks for her comments. I suspect she’ll throw everything back at us the night before we need it and will expect everyone to show up and finish it off. Such unnecessary stress and pressure. I think my biggest concern is that she’s having us research supplemental books to use – but she won’t be reviewing them before they are ordered. In other words, we don’t know what we’re handing these kids. Not cool.

It turns out that the project is not on the weekday she told us it would be – instead it’s on Thursdays, which I can’t do (the only class I want to take this Fall is on Thurs). So not only do I have minimal research experience to show for the past 7+ months, I will not be able to attend mentor training or even be present on Thursdays for the program. Do I want to stick around and get data experience as it trickles in over the semester? Not particularly. I am leaning towards leaving when school starts up – I would much prefer to focus on my thesis work and possibly use the time for something more productive – like a different research project that requires less time, or attempting to write a manuscript. I want to talk to Thesis Prof before I make a decision.

Lots on my mind – I feel like I’m doing so many different things that I’m doing a half ass job at everything. I want to make some changes this Fall to re-balance the load.

Hopefully I’ll figure it out sooner rather than later.

2006-07-28T14:10:00.000-04:00

Commentation

For those of you who might like to leave a comment, but do not wish to register/login/sign over your first child, you may comment anonymously and just put your name at the end of your comment so that I can respond to you/thank you/mock you/argue with you later.

Talk to me people (all 4 of you!)

2006-07-26T15:24:00.000-04:00

Inner Motion

The past few summers have been a time of people taking leave, and this one has been no different. I feel like all I’ve done is wish others bon voyage, all the while I’m desperate to be off voyage-ing myself. I’m excited for my friends, but the wanderlust is strong, and coupled with a strong disgust for heat and humidity, by August I’m itching to go. To be in motion. To move on to whatever is next. How did 2 or 3 years grow into almost 6 years?

For the most part I’m deeply satisfied with my life – happier more often than not, in close proximity to friends and family, on the brink of reaping the rewards of plodding along dutifully all these years, enjoying little moments as I go along. I also recognize this impatience as an annual occurrence. So what’s with the itchy feet? I don’t think the grass is greener somewhere else – in fact, I’d love to move my splotchy plot of grass with me, not toss it aside for something else. I don’t even think I want more or less of any specific thing. I just want to experience more – take in more – see more – feel more - broaden ye olde perspective. I can also feel myself setting down roots – into people, into this place – and I know I have to go sooner rather than later or I’ll never go.

The two things I’ve always envisioned for myself are education and travel, ideally intertwined. My mother did both in her 20’s, and along with God and family, these were the sacred values she passed on to me. I never had any kind of goal to match her experiences, but I just always expected I would have done more of both by now – that was the plan. It was never really spoken aloud, it just WAS because it had always BEEN. I liken how I feel about this to someone who always assumed she’d be married with a family and isn’t yet – a PhD and a few trips overseas are my Prince Charming and fantasy wedding. There are moments when I find myself confused and surprised that my life has taken such a meandering direction. You mean this is my life?

The soundtrack to these moments has always been – without fail for over 10 years - either REM’s Stand or the Talking Heads’ And She Was.

And she was looking at herself
And things were looking like a movie
She had a pleasant elevation
Shes moving out in all directions

The medley has recently been ending with the Pixies’ Where is My Mind:

With your feet in the air and your head on the ground
Try this trick and spin it, yeah
Your head will collapse
But there's nothing in it
And you'll ask yourself

Where is my mind…

(I realize these songs don't actually match up to what I'm talking about - they're just the soundtrack to this particular set of thoughts - dunno why. I don't question the choices of my internal DJ.)

Lest you think I’m wallowing in self-pity, I’m not. Something I’ve been working on is flexibility – with myself, with others, with life in general. It’s kind of ironic to me that by choosing to stay in one place and continuing on this set track, I’m actually being more flexible – by relaxing my expectations and making more general plans. The dreams are still there, always on the periphery, smudging whatever plans I’m making, leaving traces – kind of like when you get peanut butter on your fingers and a little gets on everything you touch, and trying to wipe it off only makes it stick.

------ later ------

Received an email from Brown Girl with the following prayer:

St. Theresa's Prayer: May today there be peace within. May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be. May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith. May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you....May you be content knowing you are a child of God.... Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It is there for each and every one of us.

Timely, no?

And she was exactly where she was meant to be...?

Thanks BG, my fellow wanderluster.

2006-07-26T15:19:00.000-04:00

Good & Not So Good

What’s up with you? What’s new? Been busy – mostly good things, some not so good things.

First the good news: Tall Guy performed his own one man show last week – it was fantastic and I’m wildly proud of him. He will be performing again on Tues. Sept. 26 and hopefully more after that. Mark your calendars!

Other good news: I will be heading to Houston and New Orleans for a few days in 2 weeks. Going to meet the new nephew (Andrew) and head down to NO for the annual APA Convention. It’s my first psychology conference, so I’m excited. Two other girls from my lab are going (and presenting papers), and I’m looking up two friends of a friend down there. I'm hoping to scope out what schools are conducting research I'm interested in. And yes, I'm such a dork that I'm going to a convention for my summer vacation.

The not so happy news:

I got called in again for rape crisis. This case was a young woman who’s long term boyfriend hit her. Can you imagine? Being 21 years old, living in a shelter with a man whom you have been with for 5 years, and while at a party with your boyfriend’s mother and family he hits you in the face and drags you down a flight of stairs. You black out and your mother in law calls an ambulance. Your blood alcohol level is 2.95 – so high that you can’t even feel the pain in your face and don’t believe you’re injured when you arrive at the hospital and want to leave. You are so inebriated the hospital staff are ready to put you in restraints, because they can’t legally let you leave with such a high blood alcohol level and a visibly swollen face.

I sat with this young woman for 4 hours – long enough for the Xrays to come back and show the fractured jaw, long enough for the alcohol to subside and the pain to increase with a vengeance, long enough for the oral surgeon’s recommendation for a steel plate and wired jaw to sober her up, long enough for her tearful phone messages to her mother, whom she is estranged from, long enough for the boyfriend to call the ER and make promises she knows he won’t keep. Will she walk away from him? No, I don’t think so. The hurting hasn’t gone on long enough.

She hugged me goodbye. I can hope it will get better, right? I'm left with that hope, right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jury duty was a good experience. I came away with a positive impression of everyone I came into contact with in the court system (Judge, court officers, etc.) I found the other jurors to be conscientious and interested in every angle and aspect of the case – everyone took this very seriously, and that was reassuring. The case was about a $60 crack buy, but the two big issues were that the defendant was an accessory and the strongest evidence came from one cop. A lot of potential jurors had difficulty with those points – NY law states that if a person is acting in concert with another in the same action/crime, then if one is guilty, all are guilty. The analogy given was that of a bank robbery – the getaway driver is as responsible as the person who went into the bank with a gun because they are acting in concert. Many people were (understandably) upset that they could not ascribe degrees of responsibility. Those of us who felt we could work under this point of law remained.

The testimony of the police officer was another matter – during selection we were asked whether we could conscionably deliver a guilty verdict on the evidentiary testimony of one person. Again, many felt they could not and were excused. Those of us who were selected for the trial struggled with the police officer’s testimony - we deliberated for 3 hours, trying to find something to discredit his testimony and could not. Giving a guilty verdict is not something I want to do again.

Something many people have asked me is what the sentence will be. We were advised that the sentence should not be considered in our verdict, so I don’t know. One of the other jurors called the court afterward to find out and was told that it would be several weeks before sentencing. I’m not sure I want to know. Instead, I’ll focus on the mentoring project and hope that it will help some other kid stay out of jail and find a better way to go through life instead of dealing drugs.

I hope, I hope, I hope…

2006-07-10T10:14:00.000-04:00

Greetings from the Halls of Justice

Yup, I'm on jury duty and have been selected for a narcotics trial. Doesn't that sound fascinating? Thrilling? Well, then you've watched Law & Order a few too many times. I suppose it is a little interesting, when we're not on endless lengthy breaks. There have been lots of objections and it's gotta be a good day when everyone's arguing over whether crack is admissable as evidence. The judge is strict about his schedule, and I certainly won't complain about a work day that amounts to about 3 hours of actually having to pay attention. In between, I've read two books, brushed up on my vocab for the GRE, and sampled a variety of the dumplings Chinatown has to offer.

My best find of the week has been Wild Ginger on Broome St. All vegetarian, with a cozy, relaxing atmosphere. Tomorrow will be something Italian on Mulberry Street. Next week Ponsgri. Oh yeah, twist my arm to do public service that involves reading all day and enjoying leisurely lunches. I gotta wait 4 years to do this again??

Just started reading Po Bronson's Why Do I Love These People? Seems like the sort of book that will force me to call up random family members to weep copiously and reconnect. Oh wait, kind of already did that. Anyhoo, I'm sure I'll be buying it and pushing it on all of my near and dear ones. Bolster yourselves. I've apparently had my head under a rock, as I haven't heard of him, nor read anything else by him, though I'm interested in checking out more of the bits on his website (disclaimer: I have no idea if I agree with or like what this guy has to say, as I've just heard about him).

The list o' books read this week:

GRE Vocab - I now know what "chary" means. Rock on with your chary selves.

Sunday's Silence - not nearly as good as Moonlight on the Avenue of Faith (which was the book that launched my rabid interest in Middle Eastern lit several years ago)

Goodnight Nobody by Jennifer Weiner - she's entertaining as always, but not as satisfying as some of her other ones. It's a murder mystery and I gave up caring who dunnit long before the "surprising" twist at the end.

I will also be receiving a copy of Janet Evanovich's 12th Stephanie Plum book shortly from Grandma Foodie - if you grew up in Jersey, you will LOVE this series.

And two little tidbits that I've been meaning to share...

New Greenmarkets map.

And for those of you with spacially challenged kitchens: Itty Bitty Kitchen cooking

Back to jury land...

2006-06-28T11:05:00.000-04:00

News!

My stepsister gave birth to a healthy baby boy yesterday. Mommy and baby are doing well. The mom is a true Texas girl, and the dad is an Italian New Yorker to the core. This kid is going to be a serious badass.

Snippets

Oh Happy Day! Daisy May's opened their dining room.... must go immediately! Even the Times liked it (warning: much graphic talk of pig.)

Got this in my spam mail today. Giant looking patriotic berries. WTF?

Which you could eat with potato forks!

And for dessert, grilled fruit. I also heartily recommend grilled pineapple.

2006-06-23T17:12:00.000-04:00

Get your kitten on

It's been awhile since I posted any wacky cat pics, so here's your dose.

Squirrel as pillow. Moose kind of treats everyone this way. "Oh, you look comfy" and then he splats on you - whether or not he actually fits - and is asleep within moments.

I swear I found them sleeping this way. I want to run a caption contest for this one.

And check out this kitten video. Pet stores should seriously consider selling laptops as cat toys.

2006-06-22T16:04:00.000-04:00

Philly ads....

Oh, how I would love to see one of these ads on the subway...

Sidekick Justice
I've been following this story and am on the fence about the ending.

American V: A Hundred Highways
Coundown for the last new Cash album.

2006-06-21T10:29:00.000-04:00

Sweet Music

A friend has introduced me to Grace Potter, a young lady with a lovely voice. She's a little bluesy, a little soul. Give her a listen.

She's playing Summerstage on July 20th, I believe opening for Umphrey’s McGee - check her out...

2006-06-19T13:38:00.000-04:00

Summer in the City

Had a fantastic weekend. Friday evening I had a really indepth, interesting, and encouraging meeting with my thesis professor. She gave me some deadlines and we’ll meet again this week.

Afterwards, I met up with Brown Girl for a brief walk before she headed crosstown for dinner. Then I returned some never-read books to B&N and picked up some goodies for myself, including Lucky by Alice Sebold (loved The Lovely Bones) and In a Difference Voice by Carol Gilligan (I’m trying to read more feminist psychology). Afterwards, Tall Guy and I finally tried one of the cluster of restaurants near Columbia Univ. at 122nd St. and Amsterdam Ave. We really enjoyed Kitchenette, particularly the desserts! Given the absence of students, I expect we’ll be trying all the restaurants in that strip over the summer.

Saturday, I made my first trip to Williamsburg – I had made a little pledge to myself that since I had yet to go, I would try to avoid it as long as possible, potentially forever. And then Brown Girl went and moved into fantastic, airy, spacious apartment out there. The Actress and I ventured out to meet BG for brunch at Aurora (great coffee, yummy toast and Nutella). Afterward they went to check out the World Cup games and I meandered my way home.

Tall Guy and I finally watched Kings and Queen, a French movie that has been sitting on top of the DVD player since March. We both enjoyed it – it’s heavily character oriented, with an emphasis on interactions, not plot or events.

Sunday we headed downtown to meet friends for dim sum at 88 Palace and stuffed ourselves with buns and dumplings. After, we strolled up into Little Italy for coffee and cannoli, then to Pearl River (how on earth have I never been here before???), up through SoHo into Union Sq. I honestly cannot recall the last time I just wandered around and peoplewatched and window shopped – so enjoyable. Tall Guy and I shopped a bit and ended up over by Chelsea Market (another place I had never gone into). I was really impressed by the architecture and the design inside – not to mention all the bakeries and ice cream options (Amy’s Bread, Sarabeth’s, Ruthy’s, Fat Witch, Ronnybrook Dairy).

For dinner we tried out a newish vegan organic place called Blossom – he had the black eyed pea cake and spinach salad, I had the tofu fra diablo. I really liked this place – stylish without being pretentious, the food was flavorful and a little creative, and the portions just right. Afterward, Tall Guy made the grievous error of speaking aloud the name Shake Shack, so we hustled over to Madison Square Park. We decided to forego the coma inducing "concretes", and instead skipped the long line of wilting people and for the“express line” for chocolate and banana brittle frozen custard. Felt like vacation for a day.

This week will be a week of good things – my cousin’s high school graduation tonight, another meeting with the thesis prof, dinner with my training group from the rape crisis org, dinner with an old, favorite friend who is in town, and a huge, chaotic family weekend with all the cousins for my grandparents 60th Anniversary. A happy week full of people and food and celebration.

Happy 60th Anniversary Grandma & Popop!

2006-06-15T11:26:00.000-04:00

Food Glorious Food

I thought I'd post a few recipes that I've made recently - all use ingredients that are easy to find and you can substitute the spices or veggies to your tastes. Most took 20-30 min to make.

Cold Noodle Salad - This went over well, though in future I think I will add some chili powder or sauce to the dressing.

Thai Wraps - This recipe has 3 parts - the peanut sauce (awesome), the salad (awesome) and the chicken. I made the sauce and salad, and then separately made up tofu and chicken to serve a vegetarian and a chicken version. This was a big hit - I was licking the sauce from the bowl, and happily would have served this as a salad, without the wraps.

Bloody Mary Bites - I doubled the recipe and served it as an entree. The sauce was delish and I don't think I'll ever buy plain old cocktail sauce ever again. Super easy to make.

Tarragon Lemon Dip - I made this with regular mayo, but would be curious to try it with lower fat mayo. I would also add extra tarragon and parsley, otherwise it can get too lemony.

Rosemary Chickpea Spread - Not sure I would make this again, though I might try it with a better brand of canned chickpeas. I also, as usual, left out the garlic, and the garlic could potentially give it better flavor. Would probably prefer to simply buy some red pepper hummus. Used the leftovers on a sandwich and it was tastier that way than as a dip.

White Bean Hummus - I got this recipe from Epicurious years ago, but it's no longer listed. It's basically a can of white beans, some lemon juice, cumin, chili powder, and I skip the garlic, and add coriander or fresh cilantro.

Mojito Limeade - Very refreshing. I made up a big pitcher and it easily served 6 for dinner. The one hassle was the mint leaves - we don't have a garbage disposal in our sink, so we had to strain all the mint and limes out before washing the pitcher.

Angel Food cake with fruit and berry sauce - I picked up an angel food cake, some fresh pineapple (the fresh cut chunks), and made a berry sauce. The berry sauce was simply a bag of frozen mixed berries, thawed, then pureed in the food processor with a little water and sugar. Once it's been pureed, you strain the mixture so that the solids are left in the strainer. You chill the sauce (and enjoy the solids as a snack :)

A lot of these recipes came from this cookbook.

Bon Appetit!

2006-06-14T09:13:00.000-04:00

Rambling notes about school stuff you may have already heard about...

Hello! Took a little break to decompress and get some of life's loose ends tied up. Primarily, I've been stewing about "what's next". This past semester was a blur and I'm glad it's over. I've been a short-tempered cranky mess these last few months and I'm ready to get back to real life.
One of my biggest time commitments is the research lab I'm in. Recently, the lab has become somewhat anxiety inducing. The 20 or so students who work there are great - I really appreciate the friendships I'm developing, and the general sense of community that has been otherwise lacking at the large, public university.

For the past 6 months, I've been a research assistant on a developing mentoring project and had a great team - I mean really great. Everyone is reliable, does quality work, and has a positive attitude. We've had none of the cattiness or personality clashes some other groups have had. However, I'm essentially the last man standing. One coordinator left earlier in the semester, and her experience enlightened me to the lab professor's propensity to go from nice to nasty on a dime. The Prof's ego was terribly hurt when this girl got into an excellent PhD program with zero assistance from her. Since then, I've seen the professor turn on two other long time lab managers for no other reason than that they let her know they would eventually be leaving lab. Other lab members have come and gone without much drama, but the folks who theoretically have developed a mentor relationship with this Prof have been burned badly. Like, she fires them halfway through their internship requirements (400 hours) because they'll be leaving the lab in a month. (This caused one student to be ineligible to graduate in May as planned.)

So far I've managed to stay relatively under the radar. She labels people immediately and there is no way to change this label, and fortunately she's decided I'm smart and hard working (which I am, but so are others whom she's labeled negatively). I volunteered to co-write a journal article manuscript for her - eager to get the experience and learn about the process. My co-author and I were enthusiastic and actively sought guidance from the Prof. It's been a roller coaster - one week we're on track and doing great, the next we've screwed up, disappointed her and she doesn't have time for this. After a few too many ups and downs (and we're only in the initial literature search portion!), we were ready to call it quits before we even started. I've also seen this professor take a manuscript and switch the author's names at the last minute, and have heard stories about other unethical practices. The last straw was when my co-author had to the leave the lab in order to do her required internship and was curtly told she would not be given access to the data we needed - kind of a punishment for breach of loyalty. To me, that was a clear indication that the Prof does not want us on this project, so we quit. And a HUGE cloud of dark tension was released. [As of this morning, the Prof emailed me offering to add me to an existing manuscript... how obvious is it that she was trying to get rid of my co-author??]

I will be meeting with my thesis prof this week, who thus far has a better reputation amongst the students and faculty, and hope to get some guidance about what I can do outside of the lab to flesh out my research experience. I intend to stay in the lab, although after 6 months I don't feel that I've learned much, particularly nothing about research design, implementation or data analysis. I'm concerned that the next 6 months will be more of the same, and quite frankly that is too much hassle for some really poor experience.

So, back to life! I still have a to do list of school-related things this summer - thesis prep, GRE prep, etc. I am also planning on going to the APA convention in New Orleans, which I have mixed feelings about. I'm thrilled to be going back, but sad about what has changed. I also don't know anyone going because it's not a Psych & Law conference, and my program's folks don't typically attend or present at anything else. My interests lie in broader clinical areas, so I'm hoping to go, get a feel for what is "going on in the field" and get a better idea of what clinical programs are out there.

Things that caught my eye this week...

Freegans

The Beached Limo (in San Francisco)

Meow Mix House

2006-05-26T09:40:00.000-04:00

DONE DONE and DONE!

Just hit send and emailed my last final exam to the professor. Woohoo! Going to fully enjoy this weekend and reclaim my life a bit.

Tall Guy, finder of all things musically good, made me a lengthy disc of mp3s for this finals period. The three bands on it are Rogue Wave, Gogol Bordello and Wolf Parade. The latter two are bands I had asked him to get for me, but Rogue Wave was a really pleasant surprise - like I haven't stopped playing it for 10 days straight kind of pleasant surprise.

Now, I don't pretend to be on the cutting edge of anything, especially in this city. I'm firmly in the demographic that avidly researches others first wave experiences, finds and creations and culls out what I'm interested in. However, on occasion I feel like I may have found something before my friends and I get super excited. Once in a blue moon I think I may have found a band or song that Brown Girl, in all her hipness, hasn't yet discovered. I was all excited to post about Rogue Wave thinking she'd dig them and probably hadn't heard of them yet, when I saw on their website that they just played with the Flaming Lips this week. Hmmm, Flaming Lips.... What did I just hear about them? ... Dammit! BG was at that dang concert! Drat! Once again she's got the jump on me.

I'm really excited about this weekend. Having a day at home tomorrow, then a day with the Suz, Josh and formerly-baby Maddie who has grown like 5 feet since I last saw her, then Monday a day with the Actress and Sassy Lawyer by the lake. Much food, catching up, and holiday weekend traffic for me!

2006-05-24T22:47:00.000-04:00

NPR Geekitude

I've taken my NPR geekiness to a new level and complained to Salon's Broadsheet about a piece on today's Morning Edition - worlds collide! I also sent a comment to the author of said agitating commentary basically telling him I expect better of him - I even used the words "shame on you". He'll probably think I'm some crotchety old lady.

The offending NPR piece.

And the Broadsheet post - hee hee, I'm the tipster!

Sports 1, Womanhood 0

In a piece featured on today's "Morning Edition," NPR commentator Frank Deford laments the "irony" of Title IX: that female athletes have begun to "mimic their fellow male jocks in all the wrong ways." Sinking grades and scummy sexualized hazing (see recent attention to badjocks.com); wholesale succumbing to the campus "athletic culture," even seduction by female coaches of student athletes. Sprinkling his comments with cheap shorthand ("the 'Desperate Housewives' effect," "the Tonya Harding award"), Deford observes that women seem to be "holding their own as malefactors in the male athletic realm."

Deford certainly has evidence for his observation. But what about his conclusion? "Oh, my," he sighs. "We had hoped when women started coming into sports in large numbers after the passage of Title IX that they would improve the institution, investing it with the finer feminine values. So far the results seem to indicate that instead sports has won, and womanhood has lost."

OK, hold on.

In the words of one Broadsheet tipster: "I recognize that Mr. Deford himself is not saying that women are running wild, and in the past he has mourned the loss of sportsmanship and values in modern day athletics. [But] what exactly are the 'finer feminine values'? And what has womanhood lost? I am incensed that women are being blamed for not fixing sports and even more incensed that they are also being blamed for conforming to the norm in the sports world. And I won't even go into the stereotypical gender roles that are presumed by thinking that women on the field have some internalized sisterhood, or are vastly more genteel than men on the playing field."

Do we need to question certain elements of all campus athletic culture? Sure. Is it disturbing to see anyone copycat the alpha-boneheads? Oh, yes. But as our tipster suggests, I'm pretty sure that women who've benefited from Title IX thought they were showing up to play, not to get everyone else to play nice.

2006-05-24T14:31:00.000-04:00

Next Wednesday, May 31st check out the talented Rosie Rebel!
Show is at 7:30 pm. Tix at Ticketmster or the Apollo box office.

2006-05-20T16:31:00.000-04:00

So wrong, yet so dang funny. Reminds me of the first time I rode the subway by myself and ended up on the 6 train in Brooklyn... Train conductor

2006-05-20T13:05:00.000-04:00

Is it over yet?

This finals period has been really hard. The whole semester was a lot, and it's no surprise I'm pretty burnt out and short tempered at the moment. I will be focused for the next four days on getting everything done - back to work on Wednesday.

It's also finally occurring to me that I won't get much of a break this summer. Sure, no classes or homework, but there is a lot on my plate that's pretty new to me and that makes it feel overwhelming:

~ Lab - we've got a new "super" manager starting this week. I'm kind of annoyed because 3 weeks ago the Prof told me she wasn't adding anyone to our group until the fall. I suppose that changed when we got funding, but I still feel out of the loop. She also isn't sure I can stay a coordinator - I said that our group so far has worked together really, really well and they've accommodated my limited schedule by communicating by email and it hasn't been an issue thus far. I said I know that when training begins and there is more to coordinate, I could understand how my limited availability might make it difficult. I also added that a lot depends on the new manager and whether she will be comfortable working with me with limited face time. I did make it clear I wanted to stay a coordinator. We'll see what happens. Lab hours over the summer will remain 10 hours per week, and I'll have to take a few days off in August to attend training. It looks like I may still be able to be a group facilitator, which would be far better experience for me than a mentor spot. MA students are mentors, PhD students are group facilitators, but Prof has said she thought I was "mature" enough to be a facilitator - we'll see if she keeps her word.

~ The journal article - After a few stern emails from the research Prof, we're all on the same page and on track. She's been a lot more constructive and her emails are less biting and more informative, so that helps a lot. She kind of slammed on my co-author, which is frustrating, but so far I'm really happy with the co-author's work, so we'll see how this goes. I really need to
set aside time every week to work on this. We're supposed to have a first draft in early July (yikes!). I have a weekend in June set aside for writing.

~ Thesis research - Getting ready to meet with my thesis Prof this week. I will be taking an independent study with her this fall, which means I'll be preparing a literature search and research design for my thesis research this summer, then doing the IRB approval (college approval) and conducting the research in the fall (100 surveys, 20 interviews). Will be writing the thesis/manuscript up in the Spring. This is a big time commitment for the summer and all completely new to me.

~ GRE prep - found a cheaper class at Baruch College that is fewer sessions, and ends directly before I take the test, which is perfect. Will be doing a practice test next weekend to decide whether I need a class. Not sure I can give up one night a week for a class anyway, and would rather create my own study schedule.

~ PhD apps - will have to start really thinking about schools. I will be attending the APA convention in New Orleans in August, and hope to meet some of the professors and students and get a better feel for what's out there. In the fall I will have to create a CV and my personal statement (customized for each school) and ask professors for recommendations (need four - have 2 or 3 set up). Plus the school's individual application requirements. Huge time commitment!

I think the biggest challenge for me will be creating a work schedule and sticking to it. I'm not the greatest at self-motivating and keeping deadlines I set for myself. I also really need to go back to the gym a few times per week, would like to have time to cook a bit, read for pleasure a bit, see friends and family some more. Tall Guy wanted to get away for a mini-vacation, and I just can't do it. I'm hoarding my work vacation days for school things (mentoring program training and APA in August, then days to conduct research in the fall). This is my life right now, and this is what it will most likely be if I get into a PhD program. Not sure if he really gets that and I don't have the time or emotional reserves to sit patiently and explain it all (again). He's trying really hard to be supportive, but it's all new to him too and it's been a rocky few months.

In other news, had a really nice Mother's Day with my mom. We went to Cliff Park Inn for brunch and it was all wonderful.

Also, Grandma had her surgery yesterday, and that seems to have gone really well. She has uterine cancer and had a complete hysterectomy. Prayers for her that she mends quickly and for Grandpa, as he worries incessantly about her and is having a hard time himself now that it's spring and he's not able to drive any more (since his surgery and stroke last fall). We're throwing them a big 60th Anniversary bash next month, so hopefully that will be a bright spot on the horizon for them.

Back to studying... hope someone is enjoying this gorgeous day on my behalf!!

2006-05-18T10:11:00.000-04:00

The Girls Who Went Away

I've been hearing about a book by Ann Fessler called "The Girls Who Went Away The Hidden History of Women Who Surrendered Children for Adoption in the Decades Before Roe v. Wade" quite a bit and plan to check it out. There was a great article on Salon and a wonderful interview on Fresh Air.

2006-05-17T10:36:00.000-04:00

Habeas Schmaebeas

Recently, the NPR show This American Life did a really interesting show about the prisoners at Guantanamo (Habeas Schmaebeas, 3/10/06 Episode 310).

Give it a listen when you have an hour, or check out the transcript.

An excerpt:

And one thing that’s just weird about Guantanamo is that in all of these years that it’s been going, why haven’t we seen more of these guys on radio or TV? Over 200 of them have been released, right? At our radio show this week we were talking about this, and we realized that NONE of us had ever heard or read any interview with any of these guys. And so today, you’re going to hear from two of those Guantanamo detainees who have been released and I believe that you are going to be surprised at what they’re like. And we’re also going to explain, once and for all, how it is that under these brand new government rules and procedures in this new war, somebody can be locked away, basically forever, even when the government’s own classified files say he is not a threat to America.

2006-05-09T00:10:00.000-04:00

Type Type Type... Stare at Wall.... Pet the cat... Repeat...

In the home stretch... 1 paper down, 2 to go, and 3 exams. Got some great news today on the academic front:

~ The mentoring program got approved for funding! The ball starts rolling next week and we'll finally be recruiting and training staff. Yay!!

~ Got my GRE Psych scores back and they were exactly what I wanted = 90 percentile, which makes me feel like I might actually have a shot at the PhD apps. Am scheduled for the GRE General Test in August - any tips from those who have taken it would be greatly appreciated. At the moment I'm most concerned about whether or not I should take a prep class.

~ Research Prof. emailed and asked me if I'd like to be nominated for a graduation prize. I was like "Do you have to ask?" It's technically for graduating seniors, but I'm in the BA/MA limbo that makes me eligible for most things. Hopefully it's a $$ prize and not a lifetime supply of #2 pencils.

Had a great weekend. Went to a wedding shower/bachelorette party of sorts with a favorite friend from Simon's Rock days. The Suz was in attendance as well. We went shopping in midtown and hit Zen Palate for dinner. I realized after the fact that it was the very first time I have been the one single & childless person in the group. (No, I'm not technically single, but there is neither a ring, nor a child to seal the deal, so I choose to categorize myself as such.) Anyway, the day was an interesting mixture of feelings - what happens when one of the wildest, most free spirited people you know grows her hair out, gets a job in a law firm, marries a guy in the navy and moves to a bungalow in San Diego? There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of those things, it's just that not one of them was ever what you would have predicted for her. I mean, I did the long hair, corporate job thing, but I was never really a free spirit - I was just really hyper, angry and excitable with a pocket full of Camels and a permanent smirk. She's the real, "Authority who?", deal. Then again, did anyone expect any of us to pull our sh*t together and finish school and hold down jobs and wear sensible black pumps and turn out to be average, law abiding, non-smoking citizens?

Maybe I'm mourning the fact that I have one less person to live vicariously through, and that's just fine, because I love seeing this friend happy and relaxed and I wouldn't want her to go back to her former self in a million years for a million reasons. Hey, she is preggers, so maybe this kid will be a good substitute vicarious life?

2006-05-02T11:47:00.000-04:00

I LOVE STEPHEN COLBERT

Holy Cow I can't believe I missed this earlier this week.... Stephen Colbert spoke at the Washington, D. C. press corps dinner. Check out this recap and if you have a few minutes check out the video or the transcript.

2006-04-30T13:33:00.000-04:00

Beware! Entering the Finals zone...

Got papers to write, reading to do, and spring fever to ignore. Did get out to Brown Girl's suitcase sale yesterday. On her travels she picked up some clothes and jewelry and invited the girls over to peruse the spoils. Basically it was just an excuse to drink a lot of wine and shop and a great way to spend the day, at that. I picked up some great t-shirts, a green beaded necklace I love, and a great silver bracelet. Rumor has it she has handbags coming in from India... I also finally stopped in at Beard Papa's and picked up cream puffs for the gathering. I hadn't realized they were a Japanese chain, and BG was happy to find out they're here, as she hasn't had one since her stint in Tokyo. Summary: They are amazing - the pastry is filled after you order it, so the pastry stays crispy and the cream, creamy, which is the way it's s'posed to be. We got chocolate and vanilla - they have flavors of the day like pumpkin, strawberry, etc. - which I will definitely be going back to try out.

Afterward, I had dinner with my favorite Sassy Lawyer, just returned from a week in Croatia to see her grandmother. She brought back some chocolate and coffee for me (!!) and a little vase with a picture of Croatia on it - my favorite thing on the vase is the menacing giant squid floating in the Adriatic Sea between Italy and Croatia.

Not much going on this week. I'll be doing a quick presentation on gender differences in psychopathology, finishing up the gender differences in juvenile sex offenders paper, and starting a paper on the types of psychotherapy used for female victims of sexual assault and domestic violence. That's the next 10 days, then it will be my 3 final exams. Everything is all done on May 25! In the meantime there are fun things going on - a bachelorette party for an old friend and Mother's Day.

Summer will be a bit of a break. I will still be putting in time at the research lab, working on the manuscript for that, studying to take the GRE in July, and doing preliminary research for my thesis design. And then Fall will be the research, one class and PhD apps. Woohoo!

Hope everyone is out enjoying Spring!

2006-04-26T23:12:00.000-04:00

Chicago!

We’re back! And we had a blast! Pictures will be sent out shortly. In the meantime, here’s the rundown:

First, Chicago did a fantastic job of false advertising by maintaining a temperature of 65+ degrees and pouring sunshine down upon us. Nobody mention winter, cause we really won’t believe you.

Friday night – W&A picked us up and we went to a fun diner for a late dinner. Then they took us to Pressure, a coffeehouse/pool hall for a mean game of pool (W continued her 10 year streak of beating me :P) We stayed with W&A in the Edgewater neighborhood, which is north of downtown.

Saturday – For brunch we went to Pauline’s for hearty, wonderful omelettes, pancakes and coffee. W&A went to a show A is stage managing, and Tall Guy and I set off on our merry way to the Swedish Bakery. Wowza, what a bakery! Their counter helpers were really sweet and helpful and made sure we had the best selection for our cookie poundage. We dropped the sweets off at the apartment and headed back out. We walked over to the Thorndale El stop, but had missed the train. So we kept heading east a few blocks and wandered out onto the beach. We walked a ways on the beach and then the concrete promenade, enjoying the sun, the breeze and the view of the skyline south of us. (We were so caught up in it, we actually forgot to take pictures.)

Our vague plan involved walking down N. Broadway from Thorndale (about 6000) to Intelligentsia Coffee (at 3100 block). Now, 30 NYC blocks are a breeze. 30 Chicago blocks are 4 freaking miles. We finally made it to our coffee oasis and enjoyed some very nice beverages – Tall Guy got a coffee, I chose a plum ginger iced tea and perused their coffee beans, the true purpose of our visit. The counter help was great and I picked up some Panama for our cat sitter, a pound of Nicaraguan for me, and some Black Cat for Tall Guy (who is so enamored with it, I’m surprised he’s not sleeping with it under his pillow). Then we hopped a cab back uptown to meet W&A for dinner.

W&A brought us to their favorite Asian fusion place, Indie Café, where we feasted on sushi and thai food. Many Chicago restaurants are BYOB, so we brought some bubbly wine and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. Afterwards, we hopped on the El, caught a pink sunset, and went to see a show at the famed Improv Olympic. We saw Baby Wants Candy, a group that is known for improved musicals and got a glimpse into the Wrigleyville bar scene (think Hoboken, but all the Italians look like they’re from Iowa) and went in search of dessert. We ended up at Speakeasy Supperclub.

The one thing Tall Guy wanted to do on the trip was head to Superdawg. After dessert we hopped in the car and made our way west to the famed drive in. Hot dogs with the works, crinkle fries and shakes capped off the evening.

Sunday morning we all rolled our fully bellies out of bed to sip coffee over the Sunday paper. We finished off the Swedish Bakery cookies and went on an expedition to find Honey 1 BBQ in Logan Square. We shared combo plates of succulent rib tips and spicy sausage links, all piled high on top of a layer of steak fries to soak up the juice. Oh, and some fried catfish and perch on the side. Oink oink.

We loosened our belts and made our way downtown. Tall Guy and I dropped our bags off at the Hyatt and went with W&A to Marshall Fields. The store itself is just gorgeous, Tiffany ceiling and all. Then Tall Guy surprised me with a belated birthday gift and sent me off for a massage. Whilst I was otherwise occupied, he hoofed around downtown, taking pics and getting a feel for the city.

For dinner, we mustered up a small appetite, no small feat after lunch! The great challenge was finding a place in downtown that was open after 9. We settled on a restaurant at the nearby Wyndham Hotel. Caliterra ended up being exactly what we wanted – quiet, romantic and featuring some darn tasty food. We split a pear and proscuitto salad (featuring blood orange and dandelion greens), a pasta dish with hunks of lobster and spicy tomato sauce, and an apple smoked beef tenderloin with asparagus risotto and carmelized Vidalia onion. We split a half bottle of sauvignon blanc and savored it all.

Back at the hotel, we tuned into a great local show about food! Check Please! is a local show where 3 locals recommend and review each other’s favorite restaurants. Hello? Why don’t we have this in NYC?

Monday morning we slept in and headed to Corner Bakery, a recommendation from Grandma Foodie (she loves their bread). Alas, we missed breakfast, but enjoyed a turkey sandwich and some lovely coffee at a table on Wacker Drive facing the river. We hoofed all over downtown, checked out S. Michigan Ave, Grant Park (though we did not visit the famous fountain from "Married with Children"), the Art Institute’s gift shop, the Architecture gift shop, covered most of the Loop, the Sears Tower, the Public Library, the bridge from the movie High Fidelity (!!), and ended up at Al’s #1 Beef to grab a famous Chicago beef sandwich. We split one and watched the beginnings of rush hour from a picnic table in the parking lot. A few blocks away we stepped into F212 for some coffee and biscotti cookies.

And then it was time to head out, however, I had one urgent stop to make. We had noticed that the Corner Bakery by our hotel had a basket of half priced breakfast items at the register. We eyed the cinnamon rolls, but didn’t want to carry them around all day. During our travels we stopped in at 2 other Corner Bakeries for their morning-olds, but none were to be found. We stepped up to the Corner Bakery with the cinnamon rolls at 5:00 pm on the dot – closing time. Egads! Apparently my frantic pounding on the locked door and screaming “cinnamon rolls!” got the staff’s attention and they hastily let me in and handed over the last packet of cinnamon rolls, free of charge. (Tall Guy thinks they were relieved to have been spared from my baked goods fury.)

Off to the airport, no traffic in sight, and a smooth flight home.

2006-04-20T21:09:00.000-04:00

Hey People, check out these events if you can. Go show your support! Educate yourself! If you yourself aren't a survivor, I guarantee someone close to you is.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month

Friday, April 21st
SEXUAL ASSAULT YEARLY SPEAK OUT - SAYSO!
When? Friday, April 21st @ 12 Noon thru Saturday, April 22nd @ 12 Noon
Where? Union Square Park
What? A 24-hour vigil in which survivor stories are read in public to break the silence around sexual violence and to celebrate the strength of survivors
Who? Everyone! This event is open to the public and stories can be read by survivors, co-survivors, and anyone else that cares about this important issue.

Friday, April 21st
No! The Groundbreaking Documentary
by Aishah Shahidah Simmons ~ BAC Hosts the New York Premiere
Join us on April 21st to see a film that shatters the silence surrounding sexual violence in the Black community. A dialogue with filmmaker Aishah Shahidah Simmons and sexual violence prevention organizers will follow the screening.
Location: 520 8th Ave 22nd Floor (btwn 36th St and 37th St)
Time: 7:30 pm
Cost: $5.00
Please RSVP to secure your seat at 212-594-4482 Ext 17 or via e-mail at blackoutarts@yahoo.com

Saturday, April 22nd
Stories from the Field: The Second Annual United Nations
Documentary Film Festival
For more information and to purchase tickets, visit www.mcainy.org/unfilm.

The United Nations will feature two full days of film screenings, panel discussions, and award presentations. The films cover a range of topics, but all reflect one or more of the United Nations Millennium Development Goals, the theme of the Festival. In all, forty finalists will be screened. The Festival will take place at Tishman Auditorium, The New School, 66 W. 12 St. (bet. Fifth & Sixth Aves.), New York, NY 10011.

The following address the ubiquity in the developing world of domestic and sexual violence against women, and may be of particular interest:

~ SEX SLAVES. This gripping documentary exposé goes inside the global sex trade in women from the former Soviet Bloc. Part cinema verité, part investigation, the film puts a human face on this most compelling of contemporary issues. Director: Ric Esther Bienstock. 00 hr: 48 min: 38 sec

~ TRAFFICKED. This gripping documentary follows former Australian Federal Police officer Chris Payne as he investigates the crime of trafficking for prostitution and pursues an unfinished investigation of his own. Director: Luigi Acquisto. 00 hr: 51 min: 44 sec

~ THE VIRGIN TRADE - SEX, LIES AND TRAFFICKING. For every marriage visa issued to a Thai man entering the UK, 45 are issued to women. Filmmaker Stuart Kershaw and his producer/partner, Samantha Fazackerley, embark on a 6-month adventure through Thailand's red light district to investigate the largest sex industry in the world. Director: Stuart Kershaw. 01 hr: 00 min: 00 sec

Saturday, April 22nd
Lifetime Channel Presents Searching for Angela Shelton
Cable TV’s Lifetime channel will be airing the film, Searching for Angela Shelton at 11pm.

2006-04-17T23:04:00.000-04:00

Peeps on Earth

I'm grounded this week - trying to finish up papers before the Chicago trip (are we there yet?) During this brief interlude, I leave you with these amusements:

Peep Research

Peep Haiku

New bunny movies!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday is Earth Day!

Go hug a tree.

Or properly dispose of your old electronics.

Miss me yet?

2006-04-17T22:21:00.000-04:00

Pretty boys

Two kittens, bright eyed and hopeful...

Two kittens joined as one big stinky butt...

2006-04-15T21:05:00.001-04:00

This is by far my favorite news item of the week...

DEA Agent Who Shot Self In Foot Sues U.S. - Seeks damages for distribution of humiliating gun accident video.

Definitely check out the video.

2006-04-12T15:16:00.000-04:00

Food Anxiety??!!

So we're heading to Chicago for a weekend in the very near future and are planning on checking out some of the food out there. Today I started looking around for restaurants, particularly for the one, really nice date dinner we plan on having while there. And I got anxious. Really, really anxious. Not about the date, not about traveling, but about the fact that I'm a complete Chicago food novice - both of us are. How did this happen?? We've got a short list of good food in a handful of cities outside of New York - Boston, Philly, SF, Portland, New Orleans, Memphis, hell even San Antonio! How on earth did Chicago not end up in the mix? What has happened to our self-righteous, know-it-all abilities?

So I've been poking around the web and attempting to use my NYC foodie internet skills, but it's just not working. I'm New York-centric - I don't even know where the streets and neighborhoods are in Chicago. I do have a good guidebook (and will be picking up more at the library tomorrow) and I'm sure I can over-research my way through this!

Tall Guy's mom will come to our rescue. (I'll refer to her as Grandma Foodie, as she has made it painfully clear that the answer to all her dreams is grandchildren and is getting impatient, thus her new habit of referring to Moose and Squirrel as "the grandcats".) Grandma Foodie is in the food biz - professionally she makes flavors and attends lots of food trade shows and gets to eat out whenever she travels in order to food spy. At home she makes a mean pierogi and the only apple pie Tall Guy will consent to eat. Tall Guy expects a list of recommendations (and potentially a guidebook marked with notes) when he heads down to foodville for Easter.

I'll distract myself in the meantime by checking out tickets for Wait Wait Don't Tell Me...

2006-04-11T15:38:00.000-04:00

Meme from the Suz:

Go to Wikipedia (http://www.wikipedia.org/). Type in your birth date (but not year). List three events that happened on your birthday. List two important births and one interesting death. Post this in your journal.

Events:
1906 - Mount Vesuvius erupts and devastates Naples.
1994 - Massacres of Tutsis begin in Kigali, Rwanda.
2003 - US troops capture Baghdad; Saddam Hussein's regime falls two days later.

Births:
1915 - Billie Holiday, American singer (d. 1959)
1939 - Francis Ford Coppola, American film director

Death:
1891 - P. T. Barnum, American circus impresario (b. 1810)

2006-04-11T15:14:00.000-04:00

Happy Spring!

Went to Bryant Park today for the first time this season. The flowers are out, the carousel is open and it was just mahhhrrrrvelous. I sat for awhile over by the flower stand and basked in the sun with a book. I’m high from all the Vitamin D.

Thanks to everyone for all the cards and phone calls – I felt so dang special all day! I had a fantastic birthday weekend. Here’s the recap:

Friday night: Dinner with the Tall Guy at Metisse. Cozy table in the back, great bottle of Alsace Pinot Blanc, wonderful food. I had the special, which a friend had recommended - a bird’s nest of sorts. A nest of fried, shredded potato rested on mashed, truffled potatoes, and in the nest were julienned vegetables and three succulent pieces of monkfish resting on top, with lobster sauce on the side. I was in food zen and hazily recall Tall Guy equally enjoying his roast duck with berries.

Saturday: I went to see The Actress perform in a clever adaptation of Little Red Riding Hood. Brown Girl and her gorgeous nieces were in attendance as well (Happy Birthday Shivani!). The Actress and I spent the remainder of the afternoon shopping and chatting. For dinner, we met up with Brown Girl and my favorite current co-worker Chica at Taro in Montclair. The Actress and BG had not met Chica before and I was happy to finally introduce everyone. The restaurant was great, the food amazing, live piano music, and lots and lots of laughing – exactly what I wanted and more.

Sunday: Was my day with my mom. We met up for lunch, wandered around the Green in Morristown, grabbed a smoothie and eventually ended up at Origin for thai food. It was so great to see her and spend some time together – over the past few years I’ve grown accustomed to seeing her at least once or twice a month, but given my school commitments and her new job, we’ve barely had a phone conversation since January. I intend to make some plans for Mother’s Day and her birthday, so hopefully we’ll have some more opportunities for time together in the near future.

So thanks again to everyone for the birthday fun and good tidings!

2006-04-07T09:24:00.000-04:00

Moose likes to curl up with a good book before he goes to sleep. Lately he's been reading up on Robert Moses.

And he doesn't appreciate being disturbed...

2006-04-06T22:34:00.000-04:00

Birthday Eve...

27... seems far more concrete than 25 or 26. When I think "27", I spontaneously picture a large granite 2 crashing to the ground with the 7 falling right behind it. So final, so heavy. I don't fear aging, however, in my head I still feel 19.

19 was a tumultuous year, but boy howdy it was fun and hard and angry and eye opening.
20 was a year of discovery ~ all about falling in love and growing up and discovering wine and good coffee and food.
21 was a time of waiting and planning and taking the long way home.
22 was the year I came back and rekindled my oldest relationships, returned to school for good and learned to drive stick.
23 was the year the floor dropped out of my world and I plowed ahead and built a world I can breathe in.
24 was a year of simply enjoying my new world and starting to allow myself to dream small dreams.
25 was a year of work and friends, the long awaited move to Manhattan, and slightly larger dreams.
26 was the year I sprang out of the waiting period, the holding pattern, into action and allowed myself to dream openly without fear or doubt.

27 will be the year I am my fullest self yet - fierce and ambitious and creative - whatever is to come...

2006-04-06T21:56:00.000-04:00

Bookish Much?

Picked up Bee Lavender's Lessons in Taxidermy yesterday and couldn't put it down. It blows my mind that such a slim volume could contain so much raw experience. It's brutal and honest in a rare and special way and has left me crying and driven to appreciate every damn moment.

And I'm devastated that she was reading in NYC last month and I missed it.

In other news, Anne Lamott is reading at Borders at Time Warner Center this Saturday, 4/8.

This is going on my wish list: Grub: Ideas for an Urban Organic Kitchen

And Janet Evanovich's next book comes out in June!

2006-04-05T15:20:00.000-04:00

Happy Spring!

Anyone want to explain to me the spring/winter hybrid day we're having? Got to work just in time to watch the sky turn a scary green and see the clouds explode in huge, fat snowflakes for a few hours. And now it's spring and sunny again!

Not much to report. Been fooding it up lately. Here's the report:

Hell's Kitchen - went for lunch and had the Coriander Crusted Tuna Tostadas with Guacamole & Grilled Pineapple for apps, and the Grilled Steak Salad with Goat Cheese Quesadilla & Balsamic Vinaigrette for my entree. My lunch buddy had Roast Chicken & Monterey Jack Cheese Chilaquiles (great comfort food). All so very tasty and I 100% recommend it. Afterward we stopped at Amy's Bread for killer macaroons and my fave, the cornmeal lime cookies.

On Monday I enjoyed good company over Thai food (Hell's Kitchen was closed on Monday! Sob!) . We went to one of the Yum Yums on 9th at 45th St. and I had some tasty spicy basil noodles and tea. Made a repeat visit to Amy's Bread for more macaroons, but had to settle for ginger snaps. It's a tough life...

And tomorrow the birthday food extravaganza begins! Lunch with fellow birthday co-workers at Ida Mae's. Friday is lunch with other co-workers (thai or BBQ) and dinner somewhere with my beloved (Pampa perhaps?). Saturday is girls' night in Jersey, tasty food location TBD. And Sunday is brunch with Mom. She's had a busy few weeks so I may plan a day of wandering, window shopping and eating for us. We may go here if we feel like taking a ride.

Have I mentioned I love food? I think I celebrate my birthday purely for the opportunities to indulge. Let me know when your birthday is and I'll be happy to dine out on your behalf too.

2006-04-02T14:54:00.000-04:00

Longest Week Ever…

Much to tell – 3 primary stories/events…

Part I. Where have all the sex offenders gone?

Well, in New Jersey lots end up at Avenel.

My Evaluation of Sex Offenders class took a class trip last week to visit the prison. Our professor worked there for many years (and continues to provide sex offender therapy in private practice) and she arranged for us to meet two of the current psychologists on staff, have a tour of the facility and speak with 3 offenders. The whole experience was enlightening and conflicting – on the one hand, it’s my nature to believe that people can be treated and “reformed” and I love the idea of Avenel (see link above for more info). However, it is a prison full of felons, and the odds are against most of them actually changing. Meeting the guards and being inside a maximum security lock-up was odd (I’ve been in juvenile delinquent residences and a minimum security county lock-up before). It feels like an elementary school, just with big steel gates and shuttered windows. We saw the law library, art room (wow! serious talent!), barber shop, cafeteria, etc. We met with the psychologists and offenders in a conference room in the therapist wing.

The men we met had very different stories – one was divorced and had molested his 12 year old daughter one weekend. She waited 6 months to tell her mother. The second lost his wife in child birth. He immediately remarried a woman with a young daughter, whom he molested for 3 months when she was 7. She waited 8 years to tall anyone, and it was prompted by her younger sister turning 7 – she was scared the same thing would happen to her. The third man had been a burglar, and if a woman happened to be home, he raped her. He had served 20 years in state prison and was moved to Avenel for his last 5 years (common sentencing in NJ). The men were early on in their treatment, mostly spouting “therapy” talk at us. It was encouraging to some extent, but knowing what we do about the nature of treatment and prisons, you take it all with a huge grain of salt. At the end, our professor asked the loaded question: What did they think about civil commitment? It was as if the air had momentarily been sucked out of the room.

Civil commitment is the next wave of sex offender legislation. Most people are familiar with Megan’s Law and the sex offender registry, however, the latest proposed legislation is Sexually Violent Predator Laws and they’re going up in many states. Basically, the system asked, what happens when a high risk (high likelihood to reoffend) sex offender completes his sentence and reenters society? The system believes he/she will offend again, and the current notion is to institute civil commitment, i.e. consider deviant sexual arousal a “mental disorder” and civilly commit these individuals into the mental health system for the rest of their lives. I won’t go into details, but here is a good, indepth overview. The quick version is there are pros (safety of society) and cons (danger to mentally ill patients and staff at non-prison mental health facilities, and civil rights violations like double jeopardy).

So, at Avenel, these guys are doing their sentences, participating in treatment, and it’s entirely a crap shoot as to whether they will truly get out in the end. They’re scared sh*tless of the SVP Laws, and they should be. So our professor asked the bomb question, the inmates looked briefly terrified, babbled about effective treatment, and then one made the mistake of commenting about doing all the treatment and having it be for nothing in the end. Well, the Tall Girl leapt on that one and asked them to explain how in light of all the benefits of treatment (and inner change they’d been waxing poetic about earlier in the meeting), did they actually feel that treatment was just a way to get out? Lots of mumbling, eyes down, and we were just about out of time. The offenders went back to lock up, and we debriefed with the therapists.

All in all it was a really interesting experience – the therapists are amazing women. They do things like bring in giant models of vaginas and talk frankly about the clitoris with inmates in the Sex Ed groups. Challenge these guys to talk detail by detail of their crimes over and over again. And attempt to teach them how to identify and stop their deviant arousal when it begins to occur (similar to addiction treatment). All while in a prison environment. It’s a pretty thankless job without a lot of public support.

Also, as a random side note, the one theme I really saw was family support. Each of the offenders commented on how their families were their lifeline. Their kids and moms and siblings were their reason for trying, and I believe that. Also, research shows that family involvement and support is a huge component in preventing reoffense when a sex offender is released back into the community.

2006-04-02T14:37:00.000-04:00

Part II: Further badness with Professor

After my horrid interaction with my Psychotherapy professor last week, I kicked the experience around in my head all week. It hit home in some pretty intense ways, and I’m sure it was intensified by the whole midterm/GRE anxiety I had going on this past week. I had figured out my own way to move on, and was not planning on speaking to her or anyone else about it. So I go to class this week and we’re talking about Carl Rogers. Carl Rogers is the father of touchy feely Humanistic psychotherapy. I heart Carl Rogers, partly because Carl Rogers loves everybody back.

After spending 2 hours talking about peace, love and Carl Rogers, I think to myself, “Oh, this professor is an empathetic person. She knows all about listening and understanding. I should approach her and let her know I feel badly about last week and that I’m trying to understand what I did to upset her so much."

People, hear me now: DO NOT FALL UNDER THE SPELL OF CARL ROGERS. I approached Professor and I’m kicking myself for not recording the ensuing conversation. I told her that I was upset by the previous week and that I was trying to understand what I did to elicit such a strong reaction from her. (I really did use the word elicit.) The summary is that she barely recalled the incident, and when I repeated some of it, she responded, “Oh, you antagonized me by telling me what to do.” I was stunned. I thought was going out of my way to not be bossy by using the word “suggest”, especially considering my internal version of what I wanted to say was far bossier.

I won’t bore you with a detailed version of the infuriating exchange, but basically when I asked her to consider “one student’s perspective on the exam”, she sneered at me, “Oh, so you’re going to continue to antagonize me?” WTF? There was a brief back and forth about the exam, where she was condescending and said her tests are really hard, that I shouldn’t be upset about my grade, and she refuses to “lower” her standards to [large public university’s]. I said I wasn’t upset about my grade (uh, lady, you gave me an A), that I was interested in learning the material and that I would have appreciated more specific instructions about the test content. She again condescended that I shouldn’t feel bad, she curves all of her tests and always has to due to the low standards at [large public university]. I said I didn’t feel her test was difficult, I felt ill-prepared per her classroom instructions. She verbally patted me on the head and insinuated that I was just another moronic student of [large public university].

I gave up that tact, and said that I was very upset that she had yelled and pointed at me and it was the most unprofessional exchange I’d ever had with a professor.

She denied it, said she didn’t recall that.

I repeated the whole Cookie Incident, which she denied entirely.

By the end of the conversation, she smirked and said, “It sounds like you’re asking me to take responsibility for this?”

I, frustrated, responded, “At this point, I’ll settle for you acknowledging it actually happened.”

She said it hadn’t, and started shuffling papers into her bag.

I, stunned, said “OK” walked to the door and said “Thanks” over my shoulder on the way out.

Lessons learned:

- The word “suggest” is apparently the command for psychotherapy professors to KILL.

- Being a good student means sh*t to professors who are already bitter about teaching at crappy public university.

- Psychotherapy professors are excellent users of defense mechanisms, particularly denial, repression, and intellectualization. I’m duly impressed.

- The academic environment does not utilize the same version of professional listening that the business environment does. I actually went in expecting her to pretend to listen, tell me she “appreciated” my input, but wasn’t going to change her testing procedures at this time. You know, like lawyers and MBAs do it?

2006-04-02T12:45:00.000-04:00

Part III: Midterms/GRE Subject Test

Otherwise school is good. The night before Bad Conversation with Professor Part 2, my Criminal Behavior professor interrupted class to comment on what a great paper topic I chose and asked me for copies of my source articles. I also feel good about her exam – wasn’t 100% prepared, but got the gist of it all.

The GRE Psychology subject test was OK. I studied last weekend and Thurs and Fri nights. Got to the test on time on Saturday morning and was quite envious of NYU’s new Stern Business School building. Definite school envy. Dude, they had like 8 markers for 1 white board and 5 erasers for one classroom!! That’s like the entire marker and eraser supply at [large public university]!!! Also, the classroom was NICE – comfy, adjustable chairs, bright indirect lighting, no gum under the desks! They even had clean bathrooms with seat covers! Even the NYU student proctors looked all bright and shiny and healthy compared to [large public university’s] students. Oh yeah, the test went well too. Got my skipped questions down to 10, feel certain about 50-60% of the questions and hope my guesses were solid. There were only a few questions I had never heard of (blue trypan dye for studying tissues? anyone? I know it has something to do with the blood/brain barrier, but jeez, I’m obviously not a physiopsychologist).

After the test I met up with Sassy Lawyer for brunch and a day downtown. We ate at Pangea ($10 brunch, down on 2^nd Ave), took a walk and stopped by the nameless City Bakery offshoot that serves darn tasty cookies, walked past the line of people waiting to get into the new Trader Joe’s, and hit the stores by Union Sq. I have an announcement: the Tall Girl has found her shoe heaven! I found 2 fabulous pairs of sandals in my size and they had a variety of other shoes in my big, fat shoe size. (Apparently all the tall girls know about this, as I was not the only tall, large footed shopper.) After my shoe victory, we feasted on dumplings at Rickshaw on 23^rd St and eyed the line at Shake Shack (my ode to Shake Shack will occur in the near future…) All in all a lovely day.

This week: Lots of reading to do, research lab hours to make up, and my birthday!

2006-03-30T11:57:00.000-05:00

This picture just cracks me up. First, Squirrel always naturally looks really pissed off - something about his eyes makes him appear perenially cranky. The second part I love is how much it looks like he's doing an advanced yoga pose - Squirrel yoga!

2006-03-26T22:11:00.000-05:00

What's your Excitatory Postsynaptic Potential?

Nearing the end of day two of the four day school work marathon. Spent the better part of the day today at the spiffy college library across the street - far larger, airier and quieter than my own school's library. Whole big table with a window view of Central Park and midtown in the distance. This view was helpful in quelling the panic I experienced after taking a 2nd practice test for the GRE Psychology subject test, which I am scheduled to take in 6 days. Yup, after studying for two straight days, my score went DOWN. I'm not going to dwell on this - instead I'll put the bottle of rum down and go and re-read all those horrible chapters on perception and memory and physiology. Six days is enough time to pull up the score the 100 points I need to be a contender. C'mon, I'm coming up with great mnemonic devices like "I'll have a synapse with my sherry!" (said with snooty British accent) to remind me that Sir Charles Sherrington discovered synapses. It'll be a breeze! (Baybreeze, Seabreeze, whatever you've got...)

In other news, our cats have formed their own blues duet. Per doctor's orders, we had to start feeding them a combined dry/wet cat food combo. And, as wet cat food is apparently ambrosia from heaven, they are quite vocal in their appreciation of, and demands for, it. The beasts have taken to pounding on our bedroom door in the morning howling out the pain of the starving kitten. No, really, they howl and pound - Moose is 17 lbs of starving, crying pounding cat. Squirrel is merely his back up, vocally and otherwise. Once they have finished their feast, they typically collapse on the floor and lick their paws, faces, chests, etc., I presume to spread out the marvelous aroma of ground turkey and rice and extend the bliss just a little longer.

Now, we enjoy us some blues now and again, but when the Moose is splayed on the kitchen floor crying every hour on the hour all evening, I tire of his song. We've taken to reminding him that he is a cat, not a tantruming 2 year old, and that if he hadn't been impersonating a vacuum, he wouldn't be so hungry. He typically responds by moaning, yawning mid-moan to display his vocal range, and collapsing in exhaustion on the floor next to his empty bowl. Send your donations to Feed the Starving Kittens...

Enough for today...on to studying psychopaths! Will post in a few days about my class trip to see the sex offenders in Jersey. Apparently, the sex offender prison has the opposite population as your average lock up - lots of white, upper middle class guys (curious to see if I'll run into any of my high school teachers, or hell, classmates). Much fun will be had by all!

2006-03-23T13:25:00.000-05:00

A brief story in support of long, detailed voicemail messages...

The other day I had a lovely lunch with my friend, The Actress. She went on her merry way to run an errand and head for the bus home. Later that evening, I get a message from Brown Girl. A nice, chatty voicemail about her day... museum visit, dinner out, and then, "I'm sure The Actress has called you about what happened today, it's insane, I'm so glad she's OK, but wow, craziness, anyway not too many people get hit by motorcycles randomly like that all the time. So, we're leaving tomorrow for our trip..."

Um...what??!!! The Actress was in fact hit by a motorcycle while crossing the street, and was in fact entirely OK (aside from the emotional aspects of a brush with death).

The moral of the story: When you relay any kind of similar information to your loved ones, please be sure to leave as much information as possible, lest they (while unsuspectingly listening to happy chatty voicemail) stop in the middle of a crosswalk and themselves get hit by a motorcycle.

2006-03-23T12:38:00.000-05:00

Midterm-arrific

The to do list of a reforming procrastinator:
- Read 15 chapters for one class for exam on Tuesday
- Read 5 chapters for another
- Research for two research papers (i.e. how to kill time at work and look busy)
- Study for GRE psychology subject test occurring in 9 days
(mantra for PhD applications, "Must rock GRE...")
- Make up research lab hours for time missing for class trip to sex offender prison in Jersey (no, not kidding - I love school) and GRE. (This item is otherwise known as "Can someone call Superman to spin the world really fast and add a few extra hours to the day over the next week or two? I know that's not what he did in the movie, but hey, everyone needs a challenge.)

I also need to relay what was by far the most bizarre interaction I've ever had with a professor - and anyone who has known me for my 10 year collegiate career knows this is big. For my Concepts of Psychotherapy class we had a midterm last week. I read everything, went to every class, clarified what would be on the test, etc. Showed up for the test and was horrified at the badness of it - the content, the writing of the questions, all of it.

For those of you who may be in the position to write graduate psychology tests, let me give you a few guidelines. First, multiple choice is not a proper way to ascertain the level of someone's understanding. It ascertains that you're lazy and don't want to read through and grade exams. Second, when your lazy ass writes up a multiple choice test, it is positively EVIL to make your possible answers read as thus:
a) reparation
b) splitting
c) a & b
d) none

There is a circle of hell devoted entirely to your kind. All and None DO NOT belong on a graduate test. It's insulting. I'll spare everyone my feelings about the content, but know that it was not as advertised and she went after really subtle differences in theories that are by nature already subtly different.

So, I go to class last night. I intend to get the exam back and leave early as I have another paper I need to work on. I'm joking with other classmates about arguing for points, everyone is really nervous as everyone knows they bombed it, and we're uncertain how this professor feels about using a curve. The professor, diminutive, grandma-like in homemade looking dresses and salt and pepper hair arrives and passes out the answer forms. HUGE curve - probably the biggest curve I've ever been party to - I got 70% and got an A - WTF?

She scolds us because she doesn't know our names yet because we "don't ever talk in class". (Ye who know me call bullshit on that one) She begins to go over the exam. Let me clarify, that all we students have in front of us is the answer sheet, where you fill in the circles - she never gave the questions back. She spends the next 45 minutes mumbling the questions and answers, generally forgetting to name the question number and the answer's corresponding letter.

At one point, about 10 questions in, she asks if anyone has any questions. I, sitting quietly in the back row, raise my hand and say that I would appreciate it in the future if she would be more specific about which textbooks the material for the exam would be on. It was as if I had flipped a switch and Grandma Jekyll turned into Old Lady Hyde - she leaned forward and sharply replied that she had been perfectly clear and did not need to be any more specific.
I, pretty damn shocked yet unable to leave it alone, responded that I had misunderstood which books the material would be drawn from.
She said she had made it perfectly clear, pulled out the syllabus and held it up and jabbed at the paper saying, "Everything! I said everything would be on the midterm!!"
I said "Professor I'm not arguing with you, I'm suggesting you give more clarification in the future." (Other classmates are sitting deadly still at this point.)
She said repeatedly she didn't need to be more specific, her voice raising, hands clenched on her desk. She was very defensive, implied I hadn't done the reading, and loudly pointed out that she had curved the grades generously.
I (defensive, blood pressure sky rocketing) replied that I was not arguing with her, was very satisfied with my grade, that I had in fact done the reading, and had simply asked her for clarification.

Long pause. Pin drop silence.

Guy in the row between her and me whips out a small box of Entemanns chocolate chip cookies and leans forward, offering the box to the professor and says, "Want a cookie?"
Professor: "WHAT?"
Me: "Oh, diffusion, good one!"
Professor, sputtering: "YOU SHOULD OFFER HER (points at me) A COOKIE - SHE'S THE ONE WHO NEEDS SWEETENING!!"

I lean over to the girl next to me and whisper, "Hmm, guess I probably shouldn't leave early as planned..."

The professor recovered herself, went over the rest of test, realized when NOT ONE PERSON spoke another word that she had probably screwed up. So at the end, she asked if we thought the test was hard - 2/3 of the class raised their hands. She seemed surprised looked down defensively and said she didn't think it was that hard, and she had curved it for us anyway.

I understood that during the interaction she was feeling attacked, and I intended on apologizing at the end of class. Then I thought about it some more and want to give it a week. I'm more than happy to apologize if she felt I was disrespectful or attacking, but honestly feel I wasn't - I simply made a request, one that I would think was pretty obvious when the highest grade on the test was an 83 - maybe lots of students were not clear on the material? Her generous curve wouldn't be necessary were she to clarify and/or write a test that measured what she was teaching.

Anyway, if I do go and apologize I'm going to ask for an apology. She jumped on me for no reason and was entirely unprofessional about it all. If that goes badly, I have no problem going to the Dean. This is my last semester of classes and I'll be damned if I'm going to be treated badly for trying to do my best.

There I go again creating drama with my big mouth...

2006-03-22T13:10:00.000-05:00

Women in the news who make me hopeful…

Portia Simpson-Miller

Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf

Michelle Bachelet

Added: Cecelia Fire Thunder

And this post will give you a mental image of George Bush in a wifebeater…

2006-03-21T16:00:00.000-05:00

Interesting things to do in order to have something interesting to talk about the next day...

The New York City Alliance Against Sexual Assault
2nd Annual Film Festival $25
Saturday March 25th, 5PM
http://www.nycagainstrape.org/film_festival.html

Rachel's Words
March 22nd 8.00 pm $20
Riverside Church490 Riverside Drive
http://www.rachelswords.org/

Little Red Riding Hood
601 Park Avenue, Hoboken, NJ
Saturday, April 8, 2006 12 Noon, 2 PM
Sunday, April 9, 2006 12 Noon, 2 PM
Saturday, April 15, 2006 12 Noon, 2 PM
$5 for Children • $8 for Adults
http://www.hudsontheatreensemble.com/hte_nowplay.html

2006-03-21T14:52:00.000-05:00

Moose's guide to life... just relax...

2006-03-21T14:29:00.000-05:00

The School/Work Newsletter

- So close to finishing the MA degree! Just one more class (statistics) and a thesis after this semester. Depending on research opportunities, may be done in (gasp) December!

- Joined a research lab at school. The lab focuses on multicultural issues, and there are a variety of ongoing projects. I'm part of a mentoring program for low-level (typically drug possession) juvenile offenders. It's an alternative to incarceration for these kids, so hopefully it will have some positive effect. We are hoping to be up and running next month - still finalizing project materials, then will be recruiting and training mentors and groups leaders.

- I am announcing to the world that I'm applying to PhD programs for Fall 2007. Have GREs to take, manuscripts to research, write and submit, and much brownnosing to do with various faculty. Cross your fingers for me...

- Just celebrated my 5th anniversary at the law firm. Five glorious years of meticulous phone skills and amazing feats of photocopying. This is one of the very few things I've actually done for a consecutive 5 years - maybe a first since elementary school?

2006-03-21T10:36:00.000-05:00

First post! More to come...